Sign up for site updates
This entire situation is ridicoulous if you ask me.
There's a vampire on my couch, purring!
The Council didn't warn me about this when I signed on.
All right, I can admit it...I like him a little. I haven't had a good rugby discussion since...well...Jenny, and she was touting the virtues of American football. Granted, he loses points for cheering on Manchester...bloody weird man.
Where was I? Ah, yes...a purring vampire on my couch. I don't even think he's aware he's doing it. They're both half-asleep.
Christ...she's so little...
I think he sees it too. You can tell by the way he tries to pull her against him and curl around her body, one arm draped over her waist, hand resting on her abdomen, the other arm pillowing their heads, his face buried in her thick hair.
She doesn't need protecting, but it's hard to see past the exterior. You have to really know her to realize that's she's really a warrior...
It's not ridiculous...it's cruel.
She doesn't talk of much of the child growing inside her. Maybe she's afraid of what she'll learn. Or maybe I don't push her to talk because I'm afraid. It's really none of my business, right? It's between him and her...right?
She's asleep now...shoes on my couch and everything. I wince as I go towards them, seeing the scratches on her face, and the healing gash on her arm. Whatever demon they battled tonight did a number on both of them. Even he has some dried blood flaking over a cut along his cheek.
I sigh as I quietly bend, untying her shoes and slipping them off. I consider waking him up, but decide against it with another sigh, removing his boots as well.
He mumbles in his sleep as he tightens his hold on her, his purrs deepening and I pause. I could've sworn he spoke Latin...strange vampire...
"Watcher?"
He's nervous about something. I can pratically smell it. His cheek twitches as I look up at him from my journals. Erin's upstairs in her room, getting ready for patrol.
Ever since those commandos captured him, he's been sleeping in my basement, waiting for those people to stop looking for him. For her sake, I put up with him. I only wish that Buffy could get some information from that boy she used to like. Information on the people who are running the demon-hunting operation and possibly the reason Spike can't seem to hurt anyone without a large amount of pain.
"Yes, Spike?"
He fidgets, looking towards the stairs, then back at me," Watcher, I've been having dreams...I think..." he shakes his head, "But once I wake up, I can't remember anything from them."
Why in the hell is he telling me this? "So?"
Spike looks frustrated as he drags a hand through his hair, "I don't know! All I know is when I wake up, I fucking feel like I'm supposed to do or say something...but I don't know what!"
"You're under a great deal of stress, Spike," I remind him, "It's probably just carrying over into your sleep."
He seems unsatisfied with my answer, but he drops the subject, looking towards the stairs again. "I want to do this soon."
He changes gears on me so suddenly, I'm a little confused till I realize he means their wedding. Christ...like I needed to be reminded of that! "I thought you were going to wait till after..."
"Watcher," He shakes his head with a sigh, "This sense of urgency is bugging me. I have a feeling there may not be an after," he lowers his voice, "I want her to be happy, Watcher...for however long we have left...I need her happy..."
Nearly four years on the Hell Mouth, and I still find some things to surprise me. "I'll talk to Joyce...see what she can arrange..."
Spike nodded, and I watch as his features relax back into his charatistic, cocky smirk and I know that means Erin is within earshot.
I'm mildly worried. If something gets Spike upset, it's worth look into.
Strange, though. I thought vampires couldn't dream...
You ever have the feeling you missed something important? Almost like when you walk into a movie half an hour late, and missed the entire beginning?
Erin's upstairs, playing her flute. I can tell by the mournful strains of music that's she's been crying.
Spike's into my scotch, banging his head against the larder door, muttering 'bugger' over and over again. His eyes are squeezed shut, his jaw tight with anger or frustration...I can't tell which.
He finally notices me, and he smiles sardonically, "Well, Watcher...I think this world of ours is severly fucked..."
I wait for him to explain, but he only laughs bitterly, "Christ, and I can't say I'm a bit sorry, either."
I finally understand what he is talking about. She tried to rid herself of the child that could end the world, and was unable to do it. Whether she's too attached already, or just couldn't, it's here to stay.
I can tell by the pained look in Spike's eyes that he's torn. It's his child too. And he wants it, and he's hurt, probably, that she even considered it. But he would have let her do it, because he loves her.
Maybe it's a sign that everything will be fine...
No, it won't be. I know it, Spike knows it...and that little girl upstairs knows it.
Jesus...now what?
She's stopped eating. She only picks at the food in front of her, and she won't touch her blood.
She's paler then usual...and when she should start getting larger, she only gets thinner. The only indiciation that she is pregnant is the slight swelling of her breasts.
Spike tried pleading with her, cajoling her...even downright screaming at her, but she still won't eat. She just says she's not hungry, and returns to her room.
"She won't even let me touch her anymore," he confessed to me during a late night round of scotch. It's been three weeks since she fled the doctor's office, unable to go through with the abortion. The knowledge of that is killing her.
"I can only hold her when she's asleep..."
At least he gets to hold her in the first place. I'm not what she needs, and she's pushing Spike away.
I told Joyce, and she only laughed and said that behavior was normal in women with her...condition. However, I did convince her to come see Erin, and she tried to assure me things would be fine.
Why didn't I feel so sure?
"Please, baby...you gotta eat," Spike waved a warm mug of blood in front of Erin's face.
"I'm not hungry."
The same answer, always. Christ...she's so pale...her lips nearly white. With vampire metabolism, it wouldn't take long for her to starve to death. Maybe that's what she's doing.
"Goddamn it, woman...EAT!"
She doesn't even argue with him. She only shakes her head and goes to her room. What in the hell does she do up there, anyway?
Spike snarls in frustration, dumping the blood out in the sink. He grabs the newspaper from the counter and plops down on the couch with it, flipping through it savagely.
Half-an hour after sunset, he's out the door, and I watch him go, bewildered. He usually doesn't go out unless he really needs to. What is so important that he would risk bringing down the commandos on his head?
Tonight was the last straw. For all of us.
She once again refused to eat, and we both fell in on her, Spike the loudest, I admit, but I got in a few harsh words myself.
She only shook her head, and retreated to her room.
Spike snarled, flinging her full plate at the wall, shattering it. He then flew up the stairs, and I winced, hearing the sound of wood splintering.
My heart clenched in my chest when I heard her scream and I followed, ready to kill him if he was hurting her.
When I got up there, it was already a mess, with blood all over the place. Spike was holding his slashed wrist over her mouth, trying to still her thrashing as he tried to force her to feed from him, but he couldn't do it alone.
I was slightly disgusted, of course, but I couldn't allow for her to waste away like that. Spike loved her enough to nearly bleed himself to death, and I loved her enough to help him out.
I pinched her nostrils shut and she was forced to open her mouth, allowing the blood to rush into her mouth. She struggled briefly, but finally gave in as her demon, starved for so long, emerged and her teeth clamped into his flesh.
I winced, letting go of as Spike grunted, bracing his now free arm against the wall as she drank of him deeply. "All right, pet...that's enough..."
She ignored him and Spike's eyes widened as I came forward again, and he tried to loosen her grip on him. Finally, he wrenched away with a pained roar, and Erin snarled in response. I don't think that I'll ever get used to the animalistic sounds coming from the sweet girl.
Erin's eyes cleared and her human features settled back into place as Spike tried to staunch the flow of blood from his arm, swearing beneath his breath.
"Spike...you half-wit!"
I had to smile as Spike stared at her, "HALF-WIT?! YOU'RE THE ONE WHO MADE ME PUT THE BLOODY HOLE IN MY ARM!"
"I did not!" She rose to her feet, wiping at her mouth, and I shook my head. Children...they're like children. "An-and if you listened to a damn thing I said, you wouldn't have done it!"
"A thing you said? When in the bloody hell did you say one thing!?"
Erin shook her head, "Uncle Giles..."
"Oh, no...don't you come to me for help! And you haven't said a damn thing besides 'I'm not hungry!'"
Erin looked back and forth between us, "MEN!" She stalked out of the room while Spike and I exchanged a bewildered look, "Did she just blame us?" I asked, and Spike snorted, "Get used to it, Rupes. Women make no goddamned sense! Pregnant ones the very least!"
I had to conceed the point as I heard cabinents slam downstairs, "Don't we have any bloody ice cream?!" Erin shouted, and I rolled my eyes.
"That does it, I'm buying the fucking pregnancy books!" Spike threw his hands in the air. "Before I go bloody insane!"
Jesus Christ...thank God I'm passing her off to Spike. At least he can't go gray and bald before his time! I don't think I can handle a pregnant Slayer anymore.
"Sppiiikkkeee! Giiilllleesss! ICE CREAM!"
"Good Lord..."
"It's daylight...you get it!" Spike ordered.
"She's your Slayer!"
"I already fed her! It's your turn!"
Ah...fuck me.
Part 10: Till Death Do Us Part
Let me know what you think!
Sign up for site updates