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Poem used in Fic: The Glory of the Day was in Her Face, by James Weldon Johnson.
Erin was pratically assaulted as soon as she came down the stairs the next morning, and she was furiously fending off questions left and right.
"No, he didn't bite me..."
"Yes...he fed me...a minion, Xander! My God! What kind of question is that?"
"Yes...I'm fine...and Uncle...I don't think that's physically possible..."
When she had finally calmed everyone down, (And convinced Xander that she wasn't turned by standing in a beam of sunlight for ten minutes straight,) she was finally allowed to sit down and relax her sore muscles. They really hurt from the chains, a little fact she decided not to mention as she sipped her blood.
Willow suddenly giggled, "Hey...Er...got blood?"
"What?" Erin frowned at her while Buffy burst out laughing, and Xander grinned as he handed her a napkin, "You got a blood moustache, Erin...it's creeping me out."
Erin rolled her eyes, then looked up when Giles placed his hand on her shoulder, "We still have to decide what we're going to do about Spike."
"Dust him," Buffy rolled her eyes, "Duh...he shot me with a dart!"
"Yeah..." Xander nodded eagerly, "That's a 'yea' vote from me..."
Everyone quickly agreed while Erin lapsed into silence, and Buffy raised an eyebrow, "So, Er...you in or out?"
She glanced around at the people staring at her, and bit her bottom lip, "I...uh...I'm not...entirely...sure..."
Xander's face fell, then he scowled, "You still lo-like him?" He asked incredously, and Erin shook her head, then nodded, and then shook it again, "I don't know...all right? I'm a bit confused at the moment..."
"He shot you with darts! A lot!" Xander protested.
"Well...to be fair...it was one of his..."
"Erin...no techinicalties...Spike called the shots...he kidnapped you...and from what Giles told us, he cut your face! This doesn't exactly scream boyfriend material!"
Buffy gave her a sympathetic look, reconigizing the Xander rant, but she didn't move in to defend. He had a point.
"Spike's a soulless demon, Erin," Giles told her softly, "I know it's hard...but you have to understand that William...he died two hundred years ago. He's not here anymore...he's...just a demon...carrying around his face."
Erin bit her lip again, unsure. She remembered the way he had looked down at his shoes when he asked her to kiss him again...the way he had brushed his lips across her back...the way he had looked at her, pained as she told him goodbye forever...
No...he's still there...I can see it...
"I'm sorry," She muttered, standing up and setting her glass in the sink, shaking her head, "I...just can't believe that..."
"Erin, it's true..." Willow shook her head, "If you met Angel after he was Angelus..."
Erin shook her head, "I met Angel when he was Angelus...he was different back then...from the stories I've heard..." she sighed, glancing towards Buffy, "He had more control of himself back then, more so then when he was Angelus here."
"Gee...thanks...make me feel a whole bunch better!"
"It's..." Erin shook her head, "Take me for instance...it took me nearly a year to adjust...to this...being vampire...and controlling the cravings...chanelling them somewhere else...I know I have a soul and all that...but it was still difficult to deny my demon what he wanted...I'm sure it's the same with...vampires. After trying to force my bloodlust away...I become...edgier, a little more out of control...and I became frightened. Of what I might do..."
She looked around in embaressement, but Giles squeezed her shoulder and everyone gave her encouraging looks. "The more I fed off just animal blood...from a glass and stuff...the more...agitated I became...and one night...Beatrice had to actually sent servants to bodily haul me off a...a human..." she cast her eyes down suddenly, tears filling.
"I killed him...I lost control...and I killed him...even with a soul...my demon managed to break through...cause I wasn't ready for it...and I was unable to accept the implications that came with being a halb-vampir...half-vampire...Beatrice had to stop me from...simply just killing myself...but it become stronger and stronger, and harder to control...the littlest things set me off...and I was locked away in one of the wings of the house to protect everyone else. But I escaped one night...but thankfully...instead of running into a human...I ran into a few vampires."
Erin shook her head, tucking a strand behind her ear, "I hunted them for an hour, feeling a thrill run through me as I stalked them...and when I attacked...I nearly drained them all...and what was left wasn't identifiable...but it cured the bloodlust for a long while...if I start to feel myself slip...I hunt vampires...not just slay...but actually hunt them...and drain them..."
"So...what exactly does that mean?"
"Angel was denying those cravings for over a hundred years...and when Angelus was released...his demon wanted all that was denied him...and revenge on the things that anchored his souled part to his resolution to not feed...to not participate in the hunt..."
"Me," Buffy shook her head as Erin nodded, "All of you were targeted, I hear..." she glanced up at Giles, who smiled painfully.
"But now...my hunts are fewer and farther between...used to be once a week...and now I'm up to only once a month before I start to feel my control slip...with William...he was never denied the hunt...so he has a lot of control...built-up. He can choose to kill and not to kill...he could stop today and not have it effect him for a quite while...but eventually, his control will slip, and he'll hunt...vampires or humans or dogs...it doesn't matter as long as it's hunting..."
"You know...that could be why fledglings are always...so...grrr..." Willow pointed out, and Giles nodded thoughtfully, "That's...an aspect of vampires that the Council has...never suspected..."
"Yeah....well, too bad we can't tell them about that interesting tidbit," Buffy reminded him, "Considering that they'd want to...do weird stuff with Erin or whatever you people do in England..."
Giles rolled his eyes as he dropped his hand from his shoulder, "Nevertheless..."
Erin closed her eyes as he left the sentence dangling, taking a deep breath, "If he becomes a problem...I'll do it myself..." she flexed her hands a bit. The scars weren't there, but she could still feel metal screaming as it wrenched through her flesh, or was that me? "I owe him one anyway...right?"
I can kill him...she shook her head, already hearing the doubts in her own head, I can.
Xander glared around the Bronze, his eyes narrowed as Buffy and Erin stood by the bar, chatting together as they bought a couple drinks.
Willow and Oz exchanged a look, both frowning in worry for their friend, "Xander...what's wrong?" She finally asked, and Xander snorted, "What isn't wrong, Wills? Once again...a Slayer falls for a vampire...what is it about this town? Is there something coming from the Hell Mouth that makes them all hot for some damned vamps?"
He's jealous..."To be fair, Xander...she was in love with him when he was alive..."
"Yeah...and that speech she made really made sense, didn't it?" He asked snidely, shaking his head, "Why doesn't she just marry the bastard?"
"Uh...she was engaged..." Willow wisely snapped her mouth shut when he turned his scathing gaze on her, and Xander shook his head, dropping his head on his arms with a groan, "Ugh...I hate my life!"
"It's harsh, man," Oz commisserated as Buffy and Erin made their way back to the table, "But...c'est le vive..."
"What's with all the weird languages?" Xander asked, and Willow frowned, "What?"
"C'est le vive...whatever the hell Erin said before..."
"Halb-vampir," Erin said as she sat down, "It's German...my native language."
"Your native language?" Buffy looked confused, "But you're English..."
"No...I worked in England...I was born in Germany..."
"So, you're German," Willow said, and Erin nodded, "Born in the Ruhr Valley...nice place, really...farms...although, I think it's mostly mining now...I'm not to sure about that..."
Willow shrugged, "Lots changed in that amount of time..."
"World War One and Two, for instance," Buffy said, and Erin's eyes widened, "There were World wars?"
"Yep...and guess which pesky country started them...oof!" Xander rubbed his knee, glaring at Willow, "What was that for?"
"Jeez, girl...you really need to brush up on your history if you're going to go to school in the fall, and Erin shook her head, "I've been taking corrospondance courses...just as good as high school...and none of those pesky questions about my choice of lunch food. And Giles agrees...he can help me out with most of it, anyway..."
Buffy sighed, "Home schooling...damn...I wish I was that lucky..."
"Uh...Buffy? I don't think you can exactly call me lucky," Erin reminded her, "You know...with the whole death thing...being brought back as a half-vampire...kidnappings? Sound familiar? Not really lucky where I come from."
"Still...no school!"
Erin shook her head as she took a sip of her drink, and Xander glanced at her, flushing slightly, "Hey...how about a dance?" He asked, and Erin eyed him a bit warily, "Just one," she said, glad that he apparently wasn't mad at her anymore as he dragged her out towards the dance floor. He kept forgetting her hearing was quite good and she had heard his entire tirade from the bar.
Buffy shook her head, "You think those two will ever be a couple?"
Willow glanced at Oz, then shook her head, "I don't...I don't think Erin really understands the...whole boy-girl thing..."
"What do you mean?" Buffy frowned, and Willow sighed, "In those days...there was a whole process you had to go through...courting someone...and well...that could take several years, sometimes...and you really don't have sex till after you're married..."
"So...it's a sex thing..."
Willow glanced at Oz again, then sighed, "Buff...um...you know, before a...vampire...turns a Childe...there's...a bit of breaking done..."
"Uh-uh...yeah, I know...like what Angelus did with Drusilla..."
Willow nodded, "But...that usually involves the...um...intended Childe's...loved...ones..." she shifted uncomfortably, "And what...uh...better way to break...someone...then to...um...take away...you know..."
Buffy frowned, "You mean killing her...?"
Willow's lips pressed together as she shook her head, and Buffy's eyes widened, "You...mean...oh...so...it is...kinda of a...sex...thing..." Buffy's eyes shot towards the redhead, where she was trying to keep a safe distance away from Xander.
"You really don't think...that...Angel..."
Willow shook her head, "I'm only speculating, Buffy...does Angel even knows she's here?"
"No...and after that, I'm really not planning on telling him! My God, Wills...I really don't need that thought in my mind..." she shuddered, glancing at Erin again. "Christ..."
Little Witch is rather astute, now isn't she? Spike thought as he listened from above them, his eyes on Erin and Xander.
He wanted nothing more to rush down there and break the whelp's neck...but unfortunatly, he was highly doubting that would go over well with Erin.
What are you doing, mate? He shook his head as Erin and Xander returned to the others, laughing and teasing each other, feeling another pang of jealously shoot through him, you're just torturing yourself, you know...
Of course he knew...but that didn't stop him from stopping outside the Watcher's house, waiting for her to leave it, trying to see into her window, or following her when she went out on patrol with Buffy. Or watching her dance with Xander, which really irked the shit out of him.
He blamed it on her, of course. It had been a few days, but he could still feel her lips burning his, the slow, yet gentle timidness of her mouth against his, with the enticing promise of her warmth and softness.
If her kiss did that to him...what would the rest of her do?
He sighed in regret as he looked down at her. When they had been alive, they had decided to wait...hell...it was only a month away from the DATE...and he remembered eagerly anticpating the first time...fantasied about being the one to bring her her first orgasm, to see the pleasure suffuse her face even after the pain of the first coupling...
But Angelus, with his ever impecable timing had struck...and he had taken that bit away from him...he hadn't even been giving a chance with her as Angelus raped her...and Drusilla played...
Whoa...he shook his head in disgust at himself. He couldn't possibly have wishing for the chance to rape her! That's bloody crude, Spikey-boy...shit...if she could read minds, she'd never stop slapping you!
He grinned wearily, running a hand through his hair as he flicked his cigarrette down below, watching as it landed in someone's drink.
Erin glanced at her watch, and said she was heading home, grabbing her purse.
They all gave her a small wave, and she waved back, heading out the doors. Spike waited a few minutes before following.
She was half-way home when she felt him, and she sighed, pausing in her steps as she waited for him to catch up.
Spike hesisated a few minutes, but finally sighed, stepping beside her when he realized she knew he was there, "How'd you know?" He asked as she continued to walk, and she shrugged.
"I can distungish you from the others," she replied as if it were no big deal.
Spike wondered if it was.
"The others want to kill you," he watched as a stake slipped into her palm, and flinched a little, "I told them I would do it," she finally glanced towards him, her bright, green eyes unreadable, "If you became a problem."
It disappeared back up her sleeve, signeling she didn't consider him a problem just yet, comforting...no, not really...it was never comforting to be faced with the prospect of death...
"The witch's getting closer to the truth, pet," he told her softly, shaking his head slightly, and she frowned, looking down at her feet as she moved, "To what truth?"
Spike paused in his steps, lightly gripping her forearm and turning her towards him, forcing her to look up at him. He brought his hand up, cupping her chin to inspect her face, relieved to see he had left no scars on her pale cheeks, "About Peaches..." he shook his head again, "About Angelus..." Tasting you...touching you..."About what he did to break me in."
Erin nodded, pulling away from him, her eyes revealing nothing, "I figured one of them would find out soon...I did not wish to tell them..."
"Because it'd hurt the Slayer," Spike shook his head as he once again fell into step beside her, "Peaches doesn't even know you're here yet, according to them..."
"Good...I hope to keep it that way," Erin glanced towards him, "You're not going to be a problem, are you?"
Spike shook his head as he stopped at Giles' front walk, then smiled slightly, "Kiss goodnight, luv?"
She glanced back at the house, then sighed, "Good-night, William," she whispered, turning her back on him.
Spike growled, thrusting his hands in his pocket, bloody bint...always leaving...
She went indoors without even a backwards glance, and he let out a snarl as he stalked off, pissed again.
What the hell did you expect, mate? He thought to himself as he stomped towards the mansion on Crawford street, deciding to avoid his minions for the night...that and Harmony.
"Stupid bint..." he muttered to myself, "Wish she could see things from my point of view..."
Anyanka, Patron Saint of scorned women watched as the vampire walked dejectedly down the street. Ta'hoffren, her master, was giving her one last chance to prove herself...and he had chosen a subject for her to work her magicks on.
A male of all people...and a vampire too boot...she touched the necklace at her throat, then shrugged, a job was a job. "It is done," she whispered into the night air and Spike whirled, searching the darkness.
He frowned, shaking his head as he headed back towards the mansion, pretty sure he had heard someone say something.
Erin shivered, wrapping her arms around herself, then groaned, "Giles! Anything above zero degrees celsius would be nice!"
No one answered her, and she rolled over, pulling the satin sheets around her body, snuggling deeper into the covers, crossing her arms across her hard...flat...chest...
Her eyes suddenly shot open as she sat up in bed, her eyes wide as she looked around the room, confused. She was pretty sure she had gone to sleep in her own room...and was she naked?
She gave a small yelp, pulling the blankets around her, and her eyes widened again as she looked down at herself, "Uh...where...did my breasts go?"
She paled suddenly, then lifted the sheet, "OHMYGOD!"
Spike was having a decidedly delicous dream where he was raining open-mouthed kisses down a certain redhead's throat and down her chest as their limps tangled together, soft moans filling the air.
Spike heard a car horn honk outside, and he groaned as it woke him up, "Bloody hell," he growled, sleepily swinging his legs off the bed. He ran a hand through his hair as he padded towards the mansion's bathroom, yawning widely.
"Morning, Erin," Giles said as he passed him by, coffee cup in hand, and Spike froze mid-yawn, staring straight forward, his eyes wide.
"Uh...what the fuck...?"
Giles turned around, glaring at him, "Don't use that word in this house!"
"Don't tell me what to bloody do, Watcher!" He snarled at Giles, and startled, he dropped his coffee cup as a confused, (and for some very strange reason, bloated,) Spike bolted past him towards the bathroom.
Spike slammed the door, sure that Giles would be pounding it down in a second, and he growled, splashing water on his face, then swiping a strand of hair out of his eyes.
He frowned suddenly, his eyes shooting towards the mirror and he jumped in surprise, whirling, then stared at the empty bathroom, bewildered, "Erin?"
He looked back at the mirror, seeing Erin peering at him from it, and felt a rush of panic, "Christ...you're a ghost again! Aren't you?" He shook his head as Erin did the same, "Christ...I have to find that spell..." he froze, seeing the image do the same, then slowly turned his head to the left, then to the right. She did the same.
"What the fuck?" He repeated, then looked down, letting out a roar of surprise. "I HAVE TITS!"
Buffy and Giles exchanged a shocked look, "Uh...is this...something that happens every morning?" She asked, and Giles' eyes were wide, "NO! Thank God..."
Spike forced himself to calm down, staring at the reflection in the mirror. All right, mate...you're obviously...in Erin's body for some bloody reason...so...no need to panic about staking by the Watcher...question is...how the fuck did you end up in here?
He shook his head, taking another deep breath, wishing for a cigarette, "All right...you can handle this..."
He ran through his options in his mind. He considered going downstairs, adn telling Giles the truth, but he quickly pushed that aside. Erin's body or not, he'd be dead. He had seen Giles really pissed off after Jenny had died and he did that number on Angel at the factory.
He had a feeling the Watcher was entertaining similiar fantasies concerning him since he had kidnapped Erin.
All right...play it by ear...act like Erin...try not to touch yourself too much...and as soon as the sun sets...find her...and...and...
Well, the plan was sounding fine till he got to the and part, but he was sure once he found Erin, she could come up with something. She was always smart like that...
He looked down, and winced, he had a hunch she was waking up in his body, and wondered idly what she was going to do when she discovered the joys of morning wood.
Poor girl...he thought, shaking his head as he headed back into her bedroom, and glanced into her closet. He was about to grab a leather skirt and a tight shirt, then remembered the way Xander had been all over her at the Bronze, "Uh-uh...he's not getting any free peeks while I'm occupying this body," he said to himself, taking his own peek. Cor...if this wasn't so fucking weird, I'd be really, really turned on...
He just wished his stomach would stop hurting.
Erin took several slow, deep breaths, opened her eyes, then screamed as loud as she could, scaring the bejesus out of several rats scurrying in the corner.
"All right...that's better," she mumbled. She had made no move to leave the bed, still tightly clutching the blankets around her lean waist, confused as hell. She saw some clothes on a chair, but she was too freaked out to drop the blanket and grab them.
She had only seen a naked man once...and that wasn't a pleasant experience at all.
All right...you're a guy...that isn't so bad...I just have to find Giles and Willow...and they'll make things right...
She chewed on her fingernails as she finally worked up the nerve to make her way towards the clothes, and as she yanked them on, she was assaulted with a familiar scent. William!
She looked around hopefully, then realized the smell was coming from the clothes, and frowned, looking back at the bed, sniffing again. His scent was strong in the room, but she couldn't sense him anyway nearby, and according to the watch on her wrist, it was around ten in the morning.
She paused, glancing at the watch again, then at her black-painted fingernails. She thought hard for a few seconds before reaching towards 'her' face and felt along it, feeling the sharp protrusions of cheekbones, and finally the almost cross-like scar on her eyebrow.
"I'm...William..." she groaned again, collapsing on the bed, feeling it flinch against her weight, "Fantastic, superably fantastic...could this get any worse?"
"Spike! What in the hell are you doing here?"
Erin lifted her eyes and nearly screamed when she saw Angelus lurking in the doorway, and then felt herself pass out.
Buffy and Giles eyed Spike as he came down the stairs, "So...uh...how are you this morning, Erin?" Giles asked nervously, and Spike forced a smile, "I'm fine...sorry I snapped...bloody dreams..."
Giles looked concerned "Prophecy?"
"Uh...no...just...dreams," he looked towards Buffy, who was frowning in thought, then shook her head as if dimissing something, "So...everything in working order? Got all your fingers and toes too?"
He looked at her in confusion, then remembered what he had shouted for all the world to hear, "Yep...um...all there...damn, am I starving...who's on the menu today?"
Buffy and Giles exchanged a look as Spike headed towards the fridge, grumbling beneath his breath as he pulled out a styrofoam cup of blood and popped it into the microwave, "This bloody well be human or I'm going to pissed..."
"Erin, are you sure you're okay?"
"I'm fine!" He snapped at her edgily, "What are you, my mum?"
Understanding suddenly lit her face, "Oh...man...Slayer PMS."
"What?!" Spike stared at her like she had gone insane, and Buffy giggled, "That's why you're all tense! Damn, Erin...you're acting like you were never on the rag before!"
Giles shook his head, "Yes...let's pretend I'm not here...shall we?"
Spike shuddered, "That's why I have cramps?! Oh...bloody hell!"
Buffy giggled, glancing at Giles, "Good luck today with training Giles..."
Giles eyed him fearfully, "Perhaps...we can defer this to a week from now?"
Spike, althrough willing to beat the Watcher up, nodded. He was feeling a bit bloated anyway.
"Spike, you son of a bitch..."
Erin's eyes shot open as she felt Angel slap her hard across the face and scrambled away from him, her dark blue eyes wide with fear, "Angelus!"
Angel glared at her, "No, Spike...I didn't lose my soul...what the hell are you doing here? I thought you left town!"
"Mutual!" She snapped, then closed her eyes, taking a deep breath, "You have your soul? Promise?"
The sudden self-conciousness in his Childe's voice disturbed him, and Angel frowned, "Yeah...promise."
Erin nodded, regaining her feet as she tugged at the black jeans she was wearing, temporaily forgetting she was sporting her ex-boyfriend's look and face, "Does Buffy know you're here?"
"No...not yet..." Angel frowned again, he had never heard Spike refer to the Slayer by name, "Why are you in the mansion?"
Erin shook her head, then her eyes widened, "Oh...God..." she touched her face, "I forgot...Angelus...um...I'm...going to tell you something...you're really not going to believe..."
"Try me," he shook his head, "Doyle had a vision about you and...some girl he didn't know..."
"Yeah...me and Spike..."
Angel looked confused, "Come again?"
"Angelus...I'm not Spike...I'm...Erimentha..."
Angel shook his head, "Spike...you've flipped. You're...Spike...and Erin's dead, remember?"
"Of course I bloody remember!" She snapped, then took another deep breath, wondering why her hands were shaking a bit, "I was there! Girl nailed to the cross...that was me!"
"Have you been drinking again?"
"NO!" Erin shook her head, "Oh...Lord...give me strength," she sighed as she found Spike's duster, then automatically dug into his pockets, pulling out his cigarrettes. As soon as she took a drag of one, her hands stopped shaking, "Great...now I have to smoke! What's next? Hunting humans?" She muttered, sitting on the edge of the bed.
"Spike...are you..."
"Just listen, all right! You never talked this much before!" Erin shook her head again, "All right...Angelus...I am Erin...I've been back for over a year and a half...only a couple weeks here in the States..."
"You're not Erin..."
"Damn it, Angelus!" Erin glared at him, trying to think of a way to convince him, "You have to trust me, all right? I have to get to Giles' house...like now...cause if I'm right...Spike's currently waking up in my body, and I don't know what he'll do when he's confronted with Buffy!"
Angel shook his head as Erin stood up, stalking towards the front door, "Spike...oh...shit!" He grabbed her before she could open it, "It's daylight outside!"
"Oh...oops...sorry, forget...vampire, right?" She grinned sheepishly, and Angel frowned again. "Angelus, I really, really need your help. I don't know where I am and I don't know how to get back home..."
She grabbed his hands suddenly, looking at him desperately, her eyes liquid, "Please?"
"You're really not Spike, are you?" He finally asked, and Erin nodded emphatically, and Angel sighed, "I don't believe you're Erin either..."
"That's fine...once we get back to my Uncle's, you can see for yourself," she said, and Angel rolled his eyes as he grabbed the sheets off the bed, "The manhole's about twenty feet away...just run for it and drop down."
Spike rolled his eyes as Giles set some books in front of him, "What is this?"
"You're behind on your corrospondance courses, Erin...if you want to attend college next year, you have to be ready for your GED test..."
"I want to go to college?" Spike stared at him in disbelief, then smiled suddenly. "What else do I want?"
"A life span?" Giles said absently, then paled, "Oh...Christ...Erin...I'm sorry..."
"Um...that's fine?" Spike looked at him doubtfully, and Giles sighed, and he tensed as the Watcher gave him a light hug, "Sorry...I know that's a touchy subject..."
"Is it? Maybe we should talk about it?"
"Are you sure?" It was Giles turn to look doubtful, "What do you want to talk about...?"
"My future for one," Spike shrugged, "What do you think I can do with it?"
"Well...your drawings are quite good...you could...always design things...be an artictect...plus, there was that short story you were working on..."
"She...I was working on a short story?" Spike blinked in surprise, when did she ever write? It took me three years to get her to write in her diaries!
"You're acting strangely today, Erin," Giles shook his head as he gathered up a few research materials, "Why don't you go out...and do something?"
Spike blinked in surprise, I can go out! "Sure!" He was suddenly on his feet, and rushed out the front door.
Giles frowned as he followed 'Erin' peering out at the door.
Spike stood with his head thrown back, his eyes closed in what looked like rapture, his arms out to the side, "Bloody hell..."
"Erin...what are you doing?" Giles asked, his concern renewing, she was acting really, really weird.
Spike half-turned to tell him not to ruin the moment, when he heard a strangled gasp. Spike whirled around as his Sire stood in indirect sunlight, a blanket covering his head, but it was smoking quite nicely, "Oh...Shit!" Spike spun and raced into the house past Giles.
"Angel?"
He realized he was smoking and followed Spike's path hastily, leaving a confused Giles behind, "What the hell is go-"
"OWOWOWOWOW!"
Erin almost ran into him and tripped as she tried to skid to a halt, and the blanket slipped, and she screamed as the sun hit her face, searing it.
"Fuck!" Spike ran back out at her shout, and grabbed her by the arm, dragging her inside, doing a hasty invite, thanking the Powers that he could do it.
Angel stared at Spike in shock as he batted out the flames covering Erin's face, and she groaned as she slumped to the ground, "Ow."
"You okay, pet?" He asked, wincing as he inspected his charred face, "I took care of your body, you could have at least did the same for mine!"
Giles stormed in, and then his eyes narrowed, seeing Spike so close to Erin.
"GET AWAY FROM HER!" He shouted, and kicked Erin in the face.
"Watcher!" Spike tried to block his blows, then snarled, punching him in the stomach, "Stop hitting her! Me...her...shit..."
Erin clapsed her bleeding nose with a moan, "I really hate being you," she muttered, stumbling to her feet, and Spike caught her before she could fall again.
Angel stared at them, "It's true...you're Spike...and he's...you..."
Giles cradled his very likely bruised abdomen, glaring at all three of them, "What the hell is going on?"
"Oh!" Erin stepped towards him, and Giles backed away, and she gave him a dismayed look, "Uncle Giles! It's me! Erin!"
He gaped at her, then frowned, peering into what he percieved as Spike's eyes, and she smiled brillantly, self-conciously biting her bottom lip with Spike's teeth. "Erin!" He grasped her shoulders, glaring at her sternly, "What did you do?"
"That's what I'd like to know, mate," Spike shook his head, and Giles looked at him in horror, "And that's Spike...?!"
Erin nodded, then flinched as Giles' eyes narrowed, dropping his hands, "You...fucking...bastard..."
He was about to punch Spike, but he was still looking into Erin's face, and with a growl of frustration that riveled any of the vampires in the room, he dropped his hands again. "Get. Out." he said through gritted teeth, and Spike glared at him, "Not till I figure out why I'm in her bloody body..."
"GET OUT!"
Xander came in right then, his eyes widening when he saw Giles yelling at 'Erin'. "Whoa, G-man...what's wrong? Family dispute?"
He saw Angel, and scowled, "Oh...great...you're here?"
Erin tried to make a discreet escape, but Xander spotted the movement, his mouth dropping open, "Spike! Giles! It's Spike! Stake him!"
"Don't you dare!" Spike snapped at him as Erin turned back around with a sigh, running a hand through her short, blond hair, "I hate this town..."
Xander glared at him, "For chrissakes, Erin...I know you're still having fluffy feelings for him! And I know all that control crap you cited...but just stake the bastard!"
Spike blinked in surprise as Erin groaned, "Great...thanks a lot, Xander..." she shook her head, looking at Giles, "Is this a spell or what?"
"I don't know...but...um...I'll try to find out..."
"Spell? What spell?"
"I'm Spike, dumb ass," Spike snapped at him, then turned his eyes towards Erin, taking a moment to note that he was one handsome bloke, "Is that true, pet?"
"Spell, Giles?" Erin ignored him, "Fast, please...um...I really don't like being a guy...believe me..."
"I'll call Willow...she can help..."
"What do we do till then?"
"Keep him," Giles pointed at Spike, "In sight at all times...I don't want to know what nasty things..."
Angel and Erin's eyes widened, and Giles cleared his throat, "Um...I don't trust him, and I don't want him using your body...to do evil...things..."
"He thinks I'm going to cop a feel!" Spike said, offended, then shrugged, "Little late..."
"William!"
"Spike!"
"I'm confused..."
Buffy eyed Spike and Erin, and Spike snarled at her, "What the bloody hell are you staring at? Haven't you seen a guy with breasts before?"
Erin shook her head, groaning, "Please...Willow...tell me that you found something!"
The witch looked up from her laptop, looking at her nervously, "So-sorry...I'm looking...really..."
Erin sighed, going to brush a phantom strand of hair out of her face before rolling her eyes, and started to chew on her nails.
"Hey!" Spike glared at her, "You don't see me chewing on your body, now do you?"
She threw an exasperated look at him, and Buffy giggled as Erin grabbed his hand, and bit her own nails, "There? Happy?"
Spike swallowed heavily at the erotic feeling of her mouth on his fingers, no, mate...your mouth on her fingers...Christ...this is confusing.
He shifted uncomfortably, frowning, and Angel glanced toward him, his eyebrows shooting straight up. Oh...bloody hell! Spike's eyes widened when he realized he was feeling aroused as Erin dropped his hand, leaning back against the couch.
Erin suddenly tensed, glaring at him, and Spike grinned sheepishly, "Um...I blame you...it's your body..."
"Stop it!" She hissed at him angrily, "You're so annoying..."
To everyone's surprise, Spike suddenly burst into tears.
"What in the world?" Giles gaped at Spike as Xander snickered behind his hand, "He really is a woman!"
Buffy, Willow, and Erin exchanged a knowing glance, and Spike swiped at his eyes, glaring at them, "What...the...bloody...fuck...are...you...looking...at...?" he said between choked sobs, unable to figure out why he was crying like some kind of ensouled nancy-boy. Girl...he corrected, then groaned.
"Figures! I get your body...which is bloated and retaining water...and I'm FAT! When you're getting your goddamned PERIOD!"
Xander's eyes widened, "I don't think I should be hearing this."
"Oh..." Erin looked towards Willow, "Can we wait a few days before we switch?"
"ERIN!"
She glared at him, then slapped his arm, "And I am not...FAT!"
Spike rubbed his arm, "I hope you're happy! You're gave yourself a bruise!"
His eyes were still glistening with tears, and Buffy shooed the men out, telling them it was a 'woman thing.'
Spike sniffled, glaring at his hands, "I'm such a wuss..."
"Don't be like that, dear," Erin patted his shoulder reassuringly, "You're not a wuss..."
"YES I AM! I GOT TITS AND I'M BLEEDING OUT OF HOLES I SHOULDN'T HAVE AND I'M WEEPING LIKE A LITTLE FUCKING GIRL!"
He dissolved into tears again, and Erin sighed, wrapping her arms around him, "Shh...Spike...it's okay..." she said softly, feeling incredibly weird comforting herself.
Spike sniffed, looking at her, then grinned through his tears. "You called me Spike."
Erin smiled, kissing his cheek, "Yeah...what of it?" She growled at him playfully and he laughed, as Willow and Buffy exchanged a look, each raising an eyebrow as they made a quick departure.
Xander, Giles, and Angel stood out in the hallway, looking at each other uncomfortably. Finally, Xander blurted out, "Raise your hand if you find this incredibly messed up?"
Automatically, three pairs of hands were in the air, and Xander nodded, "Not just me, then."
After a while, the others returned after Erin seemed to calm Spike's raging hormones down and he was back to grumbling about women and their damned 'estrogen' messing with him all the time.
Even so, Giles scowled to see her holding his hand, but he let it slide for the moment. Unless he wanted to be raising Erin in Spike's body, they had to find out what was going on.
Angel still eyed Erin's body warily, and Spike glared at him, "What are you looking at, Peaches? Hate to have the past thrown back at you? Well...join the club!"
Willow watched as Angel looked away guiltly, and paled, knowing her suspicions were true, and Buffy thought the same thing, a pained look crossing her face. Oddly enough, the only one seemingly unaffected by Angel's prescene and what he may have done in the past was Erin. Even Spike and Giles were edgier then her.
"Spike...after you left last night...did you meet anybody? Or...or say anything that might of...led to this?" Erin asked softly, and Spike frowned, shaking his head, "No...I just walked to the mansion...cursing you out..."
His eyes suddenly widened, "Oh...Bloody hell!" He shook his head, "When...I was walking away...I...said aloud that I wished...that you'd see things from my point of view!"
Erin sighed, shaking her head as she gave his hand another squeeze, looking towards Giles, "I don't suppose that helps much."
"No..." Giles frowned, watching as Spike traced a lazy pattern on Erin's hand, "Um...not really..."
Spike closed his eyes, leaning against Erin, and she glanced down at him, reconizing the look of concentration, then smiled, raising an eyebrow. He may be in her body, but the mannerisms and expressions were the same. He was thinking.
His eyes suddnely shot open, "It is done...that's what I thought I heard someone whisper..."
Buffy groaned, burying her head in her hands as Xander shook his head, "Anya..."
"Bu-but...isn't she...about scorned women? Spike isn't..wasn't a woman yet!"
"Yeah...but she could be expanding her horizons," Buffy frowned, "What do we know about her?"
"Her necklace is her powersource," Willow said, "We can probably make her reverse the spell if we get a hold of it, but I'm all for removing the power."
Spike growled, "I'm all for ripping her head off and making her eat it..."
"That's just the PMS talking," Buffy replied, grinning at him and he scowled with another growl, and Erin shook her head, checking her watch, "One of us has to go looking for her...and one of us needs to patrol..."
"Me, Willow and Xander, Angel and I all know what she looks like...so why don't you take patrol and we'll do Anya duty..."
"Like hell she will," Giles grabbed his coat, "Angel, you go with them...and keep them seperated!"
"What's he think I'm going to do? Shag myself? Even I'm not into shit that weird!"
Erin scowled at Giles, dropping Spike's hands, "Thanks bunches!" She snapped at him, then stormed out the door.
Giles blinked in surprise, "What did I say?"
"Basically that you so don't trust her around dead-boy Jr," Xander tutted him sternly, "Bad move..."
Spike's eyes narrowed as he stalked stiffly after her, Angel following closely behind, "She's going to ruin me if she's patrolling in my body! My minions will have fits!"
Giles shook his head at the strangeness of his life as he headed out with Buffy, Xander and Willow.
"Erin!" Spike jogged up to her, glaring at his own back, "What the bloody hell do you think you're doing?"
She dusted the minion she had been feeding off of, and he scowled, "Great...I just turned him a week ago!"
"Good for you," She snapped testily as Angel caught up with them, "Believe me...I don't care!" She started to stomp off again, stake in hand.
"Oh...so the Watcher's a jerk and you take it out on me?"
"No, William, I'm not taking it out on you...you deserve it!"
"Why?"
She whirled, her eyes wide in disbelief, "You have to ask? Good lord...did Angelus suck out what little brains you had when he turned you?"
Angel chuckled, and both of them glared at him as Spike gripped Erin's arm dragging her off to argue in peace.
"Damn it, Woman...what the hell is wrong with you? I'm the one PMS-ing big time but you're the one throwing a hissy fit in the middle of a fucking cemetary! IN MY BODY!"
"Oh...I'm sorry...wouldn't want to ruin old William the Bloody's rep, now do I?" She suddenly turned her back on him, "HEY! I'M FUCKING SPIKE! I'M KILLING MY OWN KIND!"
His eyes widened as he covered her mouth with his hand, "ARE YOU TRYING TO GET ME KILLED?"
"Maybe then I'll get my body back!"
"Or you'll die because you're in mine, you goddamn stupid fucking infuriating chit!" There was panic in his voice as he stared around fearfully, "Fucking A, Erin...we have to go...now!"
"Wha-!" Her protest was cut short as he suddenly dragged her into a mauseleum, slamming it shut, his eyes wide, "FUCKFUCKFUCK!"
"What?"
"You didn't bloody sense the fledglings? And Harmony? Damn it, Erin...they heard you...using my voice!"
"Oh...damn..."
Spike glared at her, "Yeah...damn..." he paused, hearing the distinct sound of dripping water, then turned, frowning as he headed deeper into the mauseleum.
"Come on!" He called suddenly, and she heard the sound of a door opening, two doors in one crypt? That doesn't seem right...
She went into the darkness and stumbled swearing. "Damn it, Erin, vamp out so you can bloody see..."
She glared at him, "I can control my demon, but I have no idea about yours..."
She met golden eyes in the darkness, "You have your own, Erin...our demons switched with us, so stop being such a brat."
She glared at him, then vamped out. Spike nodded, seeing her eyes had gone greenish-gold instead of full-out yellow, and she barely had facial ridges, while he did, "See? That wasn't so hard."
She muttered something beneath her breath, and Spike chuckled as she pushed past him into the tunnels, "We'll have to lie low for the day," Spike told her as they delved deeper inside, "If they heard you, they're going to be looking for us as long as possible."
"Great...fantastic...I'm stuck in your body...I'm craving tobacco...and I think...sex..." Spike looked up sharply at this, "And you're PMS-ing...could this get any worse?"
"YOU LOST THEM!?"
Buffy and Willow exchanged a look as Giles shook Angel roughly, the brunette vampire already bruised and battered from a run in with a group of Spike's cronies.
"Um...G-man...as entertaining as this is...people are staring..." Xander tried to break in, but the enraged Watcher ignored him.
"DO YOU HAVE ANY BLOODY IDEA WHAT HE COULD BE DOING TO HER?"
The patrons of the Bronze all stared at Giles as Angel squeezed his eyes shut against spraying spittle, "THEY COULD BE KISSING...OR...OR...HAVING SEX!"
"Whoa!" Buffy grabbed Giles and hauled him away from Angel with immense difficulty, "Giles...think about that statement...do you really think Erin would do something like that? Especially when he's in her body?"
"You're right," Giles calmed down, straightening his suit, "If we don't find them...I WILL PERSONALLY STAKE YOUR ARSE TO THE WALL!"
From across the room, Anyanka turned her attention away from an arguing couple, then grinned widely, seeing her prom date.
"Xander!" She called his name, apparently obvilvous to the terrified vampire and the two uncomfortable girls as Giles tried to get past them to Angel.
He looked at her in surprise, "ANYA! Hey! Everyone! It's Anya!"
She smiled, glad he was excited to see her, then screeched as Giles lunged towards her.
Spike paused as they entered an underground church, looking around curiously, "What's this, then?"
Erin frowned, glancing at the dehabiliated surroundings, "I heard Buffy say something of a place like this..." she shook her head, "It's the Master's lair..."
"Really?" Spike grinned, "So I'm amongst family...neat."
"Neat? People died down here!" Erin bristled, and Spike glanced at her, frowning, "So?"
"SO?!" She glared at him, "They were people!"
"Like I bloody care! I'm a vampire! I eat them...!"
She shook her head, leaning against a pillar as she dug out a cigarrette sullenly, "Yeah...so I keep forgetting...stupid me..."
Spike frowned, then sighed, "Sorry, pet...that's my...your! time of the month talking..."
"Hmm..." She looked unconvinced as he eyed the cigarrette she was puffing on hungrily, "Don't even think about it. That's my body you'd be polluting."
Spike pouted, then stopped just as fast, deciding that just because he was in a woman's body, he didn't need to act like it. "Seriously...I didn't mean it..."
She flicked her butt towards a puddle of water, "Yes, you did, William. You're a vampire. You eat people, it's a fact of life...food chain and all that."
"Yeah...but..."
"But what?" Erin gave him an indifferent look, "Happy meals on legs, right?"
He blinked in surprise, and she shrugged, "I had a talk with Buffy before we found out you were back...so I know about the deal..."
Spike gave her an almost hopeful look, but she shook her head, "I also know the reason you did it. Real noble...take the girl and run...didn't even stay to make Buffy stopped it. Now that...I expected."
It was Spike's turn to bristle, "Expect what?"
"Never mind," she muttered, glancing at her watch, "I guess I camp out here for the night..."
Spike nodded, "Right..." he looked around, "Where exactly?"
"You can go back to Giles'," Erin replied, laying his duster out on the floor and sitting on it, "You don't have the problem of sunlight aversion at the moment."
Spike flashed back to his brief few seconds in the sun, and had a strong urge to go back top and revel in it for a few hours. He glanced at Erin, who now had her back to him, and frowned again, "I'm not leaving you down here alone...uh...in my body..."
She threw a glare at him over her shoulder, "Just go, William."
Her currently blue eyes were glistening with red tears, and he nearly groaned as he plopped down next to her, then shifted uncomfortably, "Damn...your arse is bony!"
She buried her face in her hands, "I thought it was fat," she mumbled into them, and he giggled, then he rolled his eyes, oh...fuck me...
He glanced at her, then started laughing uproarously, and she stared at him like he had gone insane, "What are you doing?"
"So-sorry..." he choked out, still laughing, "I...my stupid head's fucking with me..."
"Well...stop it...it's bloody annoying..." she shook her head, standing up, "On second thought, maybe I'll brave the sun..."
"Oh...sit your arse down...which is really hot by the way..."
"William...are you oogling your own butt?"
"Yeah...well...I haven't seen it in two centuries!" He pointed out, and she rolled her eyes, a smile tugging at her lips, "Hey...I saw that," he grinned as he stood up, "Admit it, pet, you like me."
"I always liked you, William...that was never the problem..." she shook her head, looking away, "Hell...I was ready to marry you, wasn't I?"
He bit his lip, swearing at himself inwardly, "Sorry..."
"For what? Killing me? I told you before, I didn't care about that..."
"Then what's the problem?"
"It's wrong," she said it so softly that he almost couldn't hear her, it's wrong...shit...
"Yeah, Erin...it was wrong. You think I don't know that?" He shook his head, "Hell...I was your Watcher...you were my Slayer...we should have never gotten close. Especially that close..." he shook his head again, "And it's wrong now, because I'm a vampire and you're a Slayer. But when has that ever stopped us?"
She snorted, "This is different, and you know it."
"Not so different," he sighed, "Way I see it, wrong is wrong, it's never right. There aren't varying degrees of it...a sin is still a sin, and all that crap I never paid attention to in church."
"Blood is blood," Erin answered him, "And it stains you, William the Bloody. And nothing washes away blood."
He jerked in surprise, then shook his head. "Yeah...I know..."
"You're unclean...but...then again, so am I." She sighed, "I was in a beautiful place, William..." she closed her eyes, a small smile coming to her face, "It was always bright...full of light..."
"It was a field," he frowned, "The one by the house..."
She nodded, "I was happy there, Will. It was heaven...and I made it...there were no wrongs...there were just rights...and I existed soully for the moment. I drew, I sang..." she glanced at him, "I spoke with you everyday...and we laughed...and we played...there were no vampires, no demons...just us...and the day. I never wanted to leave, I never wanted...to be brought here again to face all the things I thought I left behind me. I never wanted...to be brought back into the darkness..." she buried her face in her hands as she slid down a pillar to sit on the ground, "I never wanted to face this again..."
Spike sat down beside her, and wrapped an arm around her a bit uncomfortably, "Christ...baby...you know if it was my choice, I would never would have asked you to leave..."
She sobbed into her hands, "Why does it have to be so bloody hard?"
"Look at me, luv..."
She lifted her head as he cupped her chin, "It's always going to be hard, Erin...I can't lie about that..." he brushed his lips across her forehead, "But I can promise to make it a little better..."
"How?" She gestured at herself, "Look at me...look at you! This...us...we're always going to be wrong..."
"Erin...look at yourself," he smiled, cocking his head, "What do you see?"
"My face..."
"You know what I see when I look at you, luv?"
She shook her head, and he smiled, "I see you, pet...I see a bright...beautiful woman...who's strong, lethal...but I also see someone who knows what's right...and what's wrong. But right now...you're looking at things from the wrong perspective...you're looking at things through what other people will think...or want you to do..."
"n-to..."
He closed her mouth with a finger across her lips, then dropped it again, "Forget what other people think, luv...forget what other people want you to do...what do you want? What do you need?"
She glanced away, and he watched as she twisted her hands in her lap, "I...don't...know..."
"Erin...you're lying..." he shook his head, "How can you not know what you want?"
She sighed, and he gripped her chin again, forcing her too look at him, "You want to know what I want?"
She tried to shake her head, wanting to break away, but he refused to let go of her, "You, Erin...it's always been you...Christ...can't you tell that? I haven't exactly been subtle."
She didn't answer him, only jerking her chin away and standing again. She looked about ready to say something, but she clamped her mouth shut, turning towards the tunnels again.
"Erin...please...listen to me...please...don't leave me again..."
She glanced over her shoulder, "You can't love, William. Vampires can't love..." she started to walk away again, and Spike bit his lips, swearing inwardly before quoting softly:
The glory of the day was in her face,
the beauty of the night was in her eyes.
And over all her loveliness, the grace
Of morning blushing in the early skies.
He smiled as she turned to look at him again, and strode towards her.
And in her voice, the calling of the dove;
Like music of a sweet, melodious part.
And in her smile, the breaking light of love;
And all the gentle virtures in her heart.
And now the glorious day, the beauteous night,
The birds that signal to their mates at dawn,
To my dull ears, to my tear-blinded sight
are one with all the dead, since she is gone...
He brushed his lips across her cheek as he whispered the last line, catching her tears with his lips, then moved towards hers to capture them as well.
Anyanka eyed Giles warily as he backed her into a corner, "Undo. It. Now." he ground out, and she shook her head, "Sorry, old man...it doesn't work like that...he made the wish...it can't be undone."
Willow rolled her eyes, "Come on, Anya...we all know how to break the spell...and unless you want to be a mortal again, just reverse it..."
She gripped her necklace fearfully, "I CAN"T!" She was more then dismayed. If she failed again, Ta'hoffren would never give her a second chance, "It's irreversible," she looked towards Xander, the one male she decided was half-way decent on the entire planet, "Help me!"
He smiled reassuringly, "All right, Anya..." she smiled brightly as he held his hands out to her, and she ran towards him while Giles glared at him, "Xander!"
Xander gave Anya an apologetic look before his hand closed on her necklace and tore it from her neck, tossing it to Willow.
She caught it, "DOLIARN!" She shouted, and Anya watched in horror as her necklace combusted in the witch's hand, "NO!"
Spike pulled away, smiling as he looked down into Erin's uplifted face, then started in surprise. He was looking into Erin's uplifted face.
Erin opened her eyes, and they widened, "You're...you!"
He chuckled, glad to hear the deep rumbling in his chest, "And you're you," he assured her, brushing his fingertips across her face before dipping his head down, closing his eyes as her arms around his neck, pulling him closer, as their tongues tangled together intimately.
He dug his fingers into her thick hair, pressing against her, needing to feel her against him. Finally, he pulled away so she could breath, smiling as he leaned his forehead against hers, "Forget what everyone else thinks," he muttered softly, "Just forget everything..."
She smiled shyly, looking up into his eyes, "You make me forget everything," she replied, kissing his lips chasetly, and then pulling away, "You make me forget that there's anyone else but me and you..."
He grinned, reaching for her again, "But...it's still wrong..."
His face fell as she looked towards the tunnels, "Erin..."
"And I don't care," she finished, and he gaped at her, "Come again?" He croaked out after a few long minutes, and she shook her head with a small smile, then yawned widely, blushing in embarressement, "Sorry..."
He was still trying to process her words as she picked up his duster, and balled it up, making a pillow as she lay down on the ground, closing her eyes.
"Um...Erin...could you...repeat that...?"
"Good-night...or morning, William..." she snuggled deeper into the leather, breathing his scent deeply as she drifted to sleep.
Spike watched her in disbelief, "She...went...to...sleep...after...that?"
She opened her eyes with a small sigh at his voice, "Are you going to sleep or not? I'm cold..."
Spike grinned, lying down beside her and spooning against her back and wrapping his arms around her, pulling her as close as he could. She smiled to herself, "I think I should stop calling you, William."
"Why's that, pet?" He asked, burying his face in her hair after giving her a peck on the top of her head.
She yawned again, her head pillowed against his arm, "Cause you're different," she murmured sleepily, "Safer..."
Safer? I'm safer now? What the bloody hell is that supposed to mean?
He decided he didn't really care as he felt her warm breath against his arm, running along his skin rhymthically, and he smiled as he nestled against her, closing his eyes and allowing sleep to overtake him.
Spike smiled as Erin's fingers brushed against his face, caressing him, "Open your eyes," she whispered, and he did, looking up into her softly smiling face, the sun framing her like a halo.
He could hear the rustling of the grass and he lifted his head from her lap to glance around the field, and she cocked her head with a smile, "I told you it was beautiful."
He stared up into her countenance, grinning, "It's heaven..."
"Exactly."
Spike watched Erin out of the corner of his eye as they walked together, her small hand surrounded by his, and smiled when he heard the nervous flutter of her heart.
They stopped a block from Giles' house, and Spike tilted her head up to catch her lips, lightly running his tongue along them before deepening the kiss.
"Good-night, pet," he whispered, and she smiled, silently thanking him for understanding. She wasn't ready to face the wrath of her actions.
"Good-night, Spike," she replied as he gave her hand a last squeeze before slipping into the darkness that suited him so well.
Angel frowned, watching as Spike and Erin seperated, her watching him disappear before sighing and trudging towards Giles'.
Christ...I'm not touching that one with a ten-foot pole! He thought, then sighed, heading after his Childe. He really hated being the good one. Sometimes.
Spike hated brooding. He hated it more then he hated his Sire.
And that was exactly what he was doing...brooding, that is, not his Sire...that was an area he really wanted to forget.
What are you doing, mate? He questioned himself, This is dangerous ground you're treading on...are you looking to get your fucking heart smashed to pieces? Again? What...is third time the charm?
He shook his head, Can you do this? To her? She's a Slayer...for Christsakes...
"Oh...fuck..." Why hadn't he thought of that before? Was he a complete idiot? How could he maintain a relationship with a Slayer and retain Mastership of Sunnydale? He'd have to give one up...or you can hide it, a small voice supplied, and Spike nodded firmly. That was the answer.
He couldn't allow another master to take over. That wasn't an option. If he did, then he'd lose all control, and he wouldn't be able to protect her. He wasn't going to repeat history twice. He wasn't going to see her strung up on a cross for all to see.
Not again.
She said he was safer...he didn't know what she meant...but he'd do his damndest to make sure that she remained safe.
"I can do both," he muttered.
"Talking to yourself, Spike? At least Dru had stars and Miss Edith to talk too."
Spike whirled, snarling, "What the fuck do you want, Peaches?"
"Stay away from her, Spike...I don't know what your game is...but leave her out of whatever sick-fuck thing you're planning to use against Buffy."
Spike stared at him in open-mouthed surprise, and Angel frowned, "Or not..."
"You...you think I'd fucking use her like that?!" He shook his head, "Not everyone's bloody manipulative like you, Angelus!"
"Oh...God..." Angel stared at him, "You...really...like her?"
Spike arched a brow, and Angel shook his head, "Christ on a pony..."
Spike shrugged, "So...I love her...I won't use her, abuse her then leave her..."
"Shut up," Angel growled, his eyes narrowing, "You don't know shit."
"I know enough, Angel..." he smiled to himself, "I know her..."
"It'll never work, Spike...once Buffy finds out, she'll stake your ass...not to mention Giles...Christ...the man nearly ripped my head off when I said I lost you two. Do you have any idea what he'll do when he finds out you're trying to get in her pants...?"
Spike snarled, and Angel found himself sprawled on the ground, his chin throbbing from his Childe's mean upper-cut. "DON"T YOU FUCKING TALK ABOUT HER LIKE THAT!"
"Spike..."
"Don't you fucking talk to me like that, don't patronize me, Poofy. Don't think I forgot about what you did to her..."
"That wasn't me...and you know it," Angel stood, trying to appear as if he didn't just get knocked on his ass, "I didn't have a soul then...and I'm sorry every single day..."
"Yeah...and you only regret it because you have a soul...I regret it without one...and I love without one...so...tell me...which one of us is the better man, Angel? Which one is probably not going to end up hurting their woman?" My woman...my Slayer...
Angel couldn't answer him, and Spike nodded curtly, "Evening, Angelus...it's been a thousand laughs chatting with you...well...not really, but you know what I mean..." he started to stride off, and Angel sighed.
"You will, Spike...if you continue with this...you will hurt her. You'll hurt her position with her friends and Rupert. I know...I've been there before. If it comes down to a choice, if she's anything like Buffy, you'll lose...no matter how much she tries to tell herself that you're the still old William she knew..."
"She doesn't, Peaches...she knows who I am...and she likes me better this way..." Spike replied, shaking his head as he turned his back on Angel, "I'm safer..."
Angel watched him go, his confusion deepening. Even after so many years, he still didn't understand him.
He didn't think that even after another two hundred years, he ever would.
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