Everything had been meticulously planned...down to the very last cream puff.

       The groomsmen were all decked out in identical tuxes picked out by Anya herself, the bridesmaids were drowning in yards and yards of lime-green taffeta. The best man was in the vestibule, sharing a flask with groom, and the maid of honor was trying to convince another bridesmaid to zap her dress into another dimension. The bride was delightfully preening herself, while the groom was nearly wetting himself.

       Ta'hoffren was speaking with the priest, the demon and the man working out a workable joint ceremony that would appease both the demons and the humans attending the wedding. The groom's parents were oblivious to the bride's true origins, both thinking that their son was marrying a nice, sweet Jewish girl. Which, incidentally, didn't really explain Ta'hoffren's robes and blue skin, but then again, maybe it was a new sect of the Temple.

       Nothing could go wrong. The wedding would be perfect...or heads were going to roll.

       Up to the last minute, Xander was inseparable from Spike's flask, at least, till they were both standing up at the head of the church, the blond vampire very obviously uncomfortable beneath the large cross sat up at the front. However, Anya wanted a church wedding, and she didn't care if the best man had to burst into dust, as long as he waited till after she and Xander were pronounced husband and wife, she would have her church, dammit!

       That much had been made clear, as well as several poignant, colorful threats aimed at a certain part of the best man's anatomy that he found himself rather attached too.

       And it was perfect, even if the groom nearly bolted at several times in the ceremony, and if the best man was staring a little too fixedly at the maid of honor, who was trying her best not too look bored out her mind and pretending that she didn't notice Spike's looks.

       Willow was trying not to stare at Tara, who was sitting in the front row as part of the bride's party, and Dawn was fiddling with the huge blue bow attached to her butt, clashing with the green dress. Giles was sitting beside Tara, his part having been walking Anya down the aisle and pretending to be father of the bride for the groom's parents' sake, and he was frowning as he watched the best man.

       However, Anya's attention was only for Xander and of course, for the many vengeances she would be forced to level on him if he did bolt. Xander, for his part, was wondering if he could sneak some more of Spike's flask without Anya noticing.

       The reception was to be no less perfect. The band was all set up, ready to play once the dancing started, toasts were meticulously planned and rehearsed beforehand, even the best man's toast had been written by Anya. There was no way in hell she would let him write his own.

       The seating plan, after months of agonizing planning, were finally made into combinations that Anya felt were ideal. With a few last minute additions, of course, when she found out certain people wouldn't be bringing dates. People were just so determined to ruin EVERYTHING.

       Anya had recruited a few of her demon friends to help people find their seats, and she settled in at her and Xander's private table, seated in a large, white wicker chair, looking very queenly in her reception dress. There would be no problems, she was going to make sure of it. Tara, the day before, had placed a spell of non-violence on the hall, making sure that the vampires and demons in attendance didn't try to make dinner of everyone there, and the Slayer didn't get with the slaying.

       Her bridesmaids were all relieved to be out of their own dresses and most everyone was seated by the time they arrived, and they were escorted to their tables, Buffy frowning when she saw she wasn't seated at the Scooby table with the rest of her friends.

       She was seated at a table with a woman who looked vaguely familiar, wearing a blue stone pendant, and a demon with huge antlers, slime dripping down from them onto his suit and the table in front of him. "Hey...do I...?" She started to ask the woman.

       "Halfrek," The woman's face melted into her demon one, and she gave a small wave, "Remember? Party? Stab wound? Locked in your house?"

       "Oh, great," Buffy said half-heartedly, "Yippee," She glanced at the demon, "Is that your date?"

       "He's my date, dearie," Drusilla smiled as she took a seat next to the Chaos demon, then looked Buffy up and down derisively, "The pretty stars told me you had fallen down and my poor little boy was crying..." She scowled, "The stars lied to me..."

       "Nope, I died, I'm back," Buffy whipped a stake out of her red dress, but when she tried to stand up to stake Drusilla, she found she was unable to make a move towards the vampiress.

       "Anya said no violence," Halfrek told Buffy, "Spell, remember?"

       "Dammit!" Buffy glared at Drusilla, "Why in the hell would Anya invite you?"

       "Actually..." The chaos demon spoke up, "She invited me...Dru's my date...aren't you, honey?"

       Drusilla smiled up at him, and Buffy paled as Drusilla started making out with the demon, apparently uncaring about the slime, "Oh...gross...there's an image that's never going to go away!"

       "Oh, sorry," The demon smiled at Buffy, "Name's He'ral...nice to meet you..."

       "Buffy," She ignored the cloven-hoof he reached out for her to shake, eyeing it warily, "Yeah, real nice...just keep your ho away from me, buddy."

       Halfrek suddenly straightened, eyes going a bit wide before she composed herself, and Buffy frowned slightly, "What?"

       "Oh...Bloody 'ell!" Spike stared at Drusilla in shock, "What in the soddin' 'ell are you doin' here?!"

       "Spike," Drusilla batted her eyelashes at him coyly, "Aren't you happy to see mummy?"

       "Thrilled," Spike said dryly, then glanced at Buffy, making a face before practically throwing himself into the seat next to her, where Buffy finally noticed his name was placed before the plate. "I'm going to kill that woman," He grumbled beneath his breath, "She's out to make my life a livin' hell."

       "Wouldn't that be unliving?" Buffy asked casually, then glanced at Spike as he gave her a dirty look, "What? I didn't do anything!"

       "Please...you had to have planned this," He replied, then glared at the He'ral, who was looking decidedly nervous, "And you're back with Dru now?" Spike snorted, "Didn't she dump you?"

       "Yeah, but my baby always comes back to me," He'ral said, wrapping an arm around Drusilla's waist, and she smirked at Spike as she snuggled up against He'ral. "Ours is an eternal love."

       "Yeah," Spike rolled his eyes, "Heard that one before..."

       "Spikey..." Drusilla pouted, "Are you mad at princess?"

       "Wait...you and her..." Halfrek pointed at Drusilla, "You and her were...a thing?"

       "Thing is right," Buffy muttered, watching as Spike removed his flask from inside his tux and took a swig of it, and she grabbed it out of his hand. Drusilla raised an eyebrow as Buffy took a deep sip, then made a face, sticking out her tongue and shuddering, "Unngghhh..."

       Spike smiled a tiny bit, loving her little liquor face...it was so...cute. There was no other word for it, but even so, he snatched his flask back, not wanting a drunk Slayer on his hands. Last time was fun, but when she got drunk, she had a tendency to shoot off her mouth, and shooting it off in front of the Scoobies, in light of fairly recent events involving him and her naked, wasn't exactly a good thing.

       Halfrek glanced around before primping her hair a bit, watching as Spike loosened his bow tie and ran a hand through his hair, mussing it up a bit and making it stick up in little spiked, curly strands. She had practically begged Anya to seat her with him, and she smiled in his direction, but he didn't seem to notice her.

       "Where in the hell is the booze?" Spike glanced around, "The whelp promised me booze."

       "Open bar," Buffy replied, "While you're up, bring me a gin and tonic?"

       "Slayer...have you ever had a gin and tonic?"

       "Um...no..."

       "Believe me, you don't want it...how 'bout I bring you a nice ginger ale..." Buffy glared at Spike, and he rolled his eyes as he stood up, muttering beneath his breath, "Bloody well excuse me for trying...anything else, your majesty?"

       "Oh...Spppiikkeee..." Drusilla smiled at him, "Can I have a fizzy glass?"

       "Oh, and could you bring me a diet coke?" He'ral added and Spike threw his arms up in the air.

       "Fine, whatever, I'm on bleedin' waiter duty now...you wan' anything?" He asked Halfrek, and she smiled, obviously flirting.

       "Oh, just a martini..."

       "Fine, fine," Spike scowled as he stalked off towards the bar, and Halfrek immediately whipped a compact out of her purse, starting to reapply her make-up, and Buffy watched her in amusement.

       "Is that really going to help anything? Cause...you really need to start moisturizing..."

       Halfrek glared at Buffy, then tossed her hair, insulted, "I'll have you know I was considered a very great beauty in my time."

       "Yeah, sure, whatever," Buffy snorted, "And Drusilla's the picture of sanity..."

       Drusilla frowned slightly, but before she could retort to that, Halfrek turned towards her, "So...you and William were an item? Tell me...when did he get...so yummy?"

       "Yummy?!" Buffy repeated, glaring at Halfrek, who ignored her as she watched Drusilla's gaze drift off into some pleasant recollection.

       Drusilla sighed, "My poor little boy..." She glared at Buffy, "He's all soft because of you..."

       "What?!" Halfrek looked towards Buffy, "You and William...?"

       "There is no me and William!" Buffy snapped, and then frowned slightly, "Do you know him or something? Cause...at my party..."

       Halfrek straightened, immediately slipping into flirt mode as Spike returned, grumbling curses beneath his breath as he handed Drusilla her champagne, He'ral his diet coke, Buffy her gin and tonic, and when he handed Halfrek her martini, she took it, coyly batting her eyelashes at him.

       "Thank you so much, William...you were always so sweet..."

       "Uh..." Spike let go of the glass, returning to his seat beside Buffy immediately, "Do I know you?"

       Halfrek looked disappointed, "You don't remember me at all?"

       "Pretty sure I don't know any soddin' vengeance demons, 'sides Anya," Spike replied, watching Buffy as she took a drink of her gin and tonic and immediately made a disgusted face. She then eyed his glass of scotch longingly, and he rolled his eyes as he took her tonic and gave her his scotch instead. "Bloody well tried to tell you, didn't I?"

       "Well, excuse me," Buffy stuck her tongue out at him, "Just because I'm not a complete alcoholic like some people I know..." She glanced at Halfrek as she morphed into her human face, and Spike followed her gaze.

       Spike yelped, and everyone watched as he pitched backwards in his seat, and people from the surrounding tables around them gave the group a disapproving look, as Spike's acrobatics had interrupted Giles' speech.

       Spike peeked over the edge of the table, and Halfrek smiled at him as his eyes widened a bit, giving him a small wave as he squeaked out, "Cecily?"

       "Who?" Buffy said as Drusilla stared at Halfrek in shock.

       Spike grabbed his chair, trying to compose himself as he sat down again, eyeing Halfrek warily, "Nice trick..."

       "No trick, William," She smiled at him brightly, "Been a long time, hasn't it?"

       "You do know him!" Buffy said accusingly, and then glared at Spike, "You said you didn't know her!"

       "I don't! Well...I do...but...I didn't know she was a bleedin' demon!" Spike defended himself, still staring at Halfrek in shock, and a little bit of hurt, which Buffy bristled at. "What in the bleedin' hell kind of table is this?!"

       "You're her?" Drusilla leaned towards Halfrek interestedly, then snorted, glancing at Spike, "She's not prettier then me."

       "Is she your rebound?" Halfrek asked, wrinkling her nose in Drusilla's direction, "I mean...going from me...to that...it's almost insulting..."

       "Rebound?!" Drusilla growled at Halfrek angrily, "I was not his rebound, luv..."

       "She's so..." Halfrek sniffed, "Uncultured. Really, William...I thought you had better taste then that..."

       There was a loud thump, and everyone looked towards Spike, who had dropped his head on the table, where he proceeded to lift it up and let it drop down again, hoping to knock himself unconscious. "I'm in hell...only explanation...I'm in hell...with a bloody band playing soddin' love ballads..."

       "How do you know Spike?" Buffy asked Halfrek, and she smiled.

       "I was almost his betrothed..."

       Drusilla snorted, "Before of after you brutally rejected him and made my poor, dear little poet cry?"

       "Oh...GOD!" Spike lifted his head, looking up towards the ceiling, "What else you got up there fore me, you great GIT!?"

       "Wait...go back...poet?" Buffy smirked, "Spike...was a poet?"

       "He totally sucked at it..." Halfrek shook her head slightly, "They called him William the Bloody because of his bloody awful poetry..."

       "That was a rhetorical question, God," Spike dropped his head on the table again.

       "All right...I admit...I was a bit...cold. But, I think, William, we still have a chance. I mean, it's perfect...almost like Shakespeare or whatever. We're both demons, we're both immortal...and you've definitely gotten hot over the years...I mean...really...hot. Do you work out?"

       "Spike was a poet?" Buffy raised an eyebrow at Halfrek, "You knew Spike when he was still alive? Oh, this is just too good."

       "Glad you're enjoying it!" Spike snapped at Buffy, finally lifting his head, "Fine! Have a good laugh at Spike! Tell you what...I'll leave and you chits can all have a gay ole time yukking it up at William the Bloody's soddin' expense!" He jumped to his feet and stalked towards the bar, immediately grabbing up a bottle of vodka, and stomping out of the reception hall to drink himself into oblivion somewhere private.

       "Dammit!" Halfrek glared at Buffy and Drusilla, "Look at what you two did..."

       "Us?" Drusilla was insane, but she wasn't about to take all the blame for this one, and she glared at Halfrek, crossing her arms over her chest, "That was all you, luv."

       "Please! I was just trying to make up with him," Halfrek retorted, "It has to be fate. Chance meeting after all these years...and discovering our love for each other is immortal..." Halfrek sighed blissfully, "It's definitely fate."

       Buffy glared at Halfrek, trying hard to convince herself she wasn't jealous, "Please...like you have a chance with him?"

       "I'll have you know, I was his first love," Halfrek primped her hair daintily, "He said my beauty was...effulgent...whatever the hell that means."

       "Oh, right," Buffy rolled her eyes, "He has a better chance with Spike then you," She gestured at He'ral emphatically, the Chaos demon looking a bit uncomfortable with the topic of discussion.

       "Dru, darling...maybe we should go..."

       Drusilla ignored him as she glared at Buffy, "An' you...always in his head...makin' him taste like ashes and life...disgusting, filthy Slayer..."

       "She's a Slayer?" Halfrek and Her'al said in unison, eyes widening.

       "Filthy?" Buffy practically growled at Drusilla, "I am not filthy!"

       "Twistin' him all up inside," Drusilla continued, undaunted by the Slayer's outburst, "You've ruined him...ruined my sweet, little boy..."

       "Oh...puhleeeezeee...I can't believe I'm even having this discussion with you, you crazy ho bag."

       "Crazy what?!"

       The table was starting to get loud, drawing glares from everyone around, and Anya was horrified to hear anyone fighting on her perfect day. She sent Xander a pleading look and the boy was immediately on his feet, heading towards the trouble table, shocked to see Drusilla, Halfrek and Buffy all screaming at each other.

       "You heard me! Ho bag! Skank!" Buffy shot back at Drusilla, "You think you were such a prize!?" She pointed at Her'al, "You dumped him for that?"

       "She's got a point," Halfrek pointed out, "Cause...ew. Slime, big turn-off..."

       "Um...Buffy...Dru...Hallie..." Xander approached the three women warily, "Could...you guys keep it down around here? And where's Spike? He's supposed to do his speech..."

       "They chased him off!" Halfrek pointed at Drusilla and Buffy, and Xander's eyes widened.

       "Oh...God...don't tell me that," Xander pleaded, "Anya's sitting over there, waiting for Spike to say the heartfelt speech she wrote for us...and you're telling me he's gone?! Do you have any idea what Anya is going to do to me?!"

       "I did not chase him off!" Buffy asserted, "I was just sitting there. Anya was the one that stuck Spike at the table with all of his girlfriends!"

       "What?" Xander stared at Halfrek, "You dated Spike?!"

       "Well...not really...but he proposed to me...sort of..."

       Drusilla rolled her eyes, then fake coughed into her hand, "Slut, slut..."

       "Hey! I am not a slut!" Halfrek glared at Drusilla, while Xander frowned as he glanced at Buffy.

       "When you say all of his girlfriends..."

       "He proposed? To you?!" Buffy snorted, "I'm so sure!"

       "He did!" Halfrek snapped at Buffy before glaring at Drusilla, "And you better watch your mouth, missy. Just because I can't do anything to you know won't mean I won't curse you once this stupid reception is over."

       "Did the slimy guy date Spike too?"

       "NO!" Her'al looked at Xander, horrified, "Why in the hell would you think that?"

       Xander shook his head, then saw Spike come back into the hall, heading straight for the bar once more, and he darted around the feuding women, deciding he really didn't want to know what was going on with them.

       Spike was about to grab a bottle when Xander gripped his arm, dragging the inebriated vampire away from the bar, ignoring his slightly slurred protests. "You, speech, now!" Xander said desperately, glancing at Anya, who was starting to look more then a little panicked.

       "Don' wanna," Spike jutted out his lower lip in a pout, but Xander didn't give in as he shoved the index cards Anya had prepared into Spike's hands.

       "Just...read it, sound sincere, shed a few tears, whatever...just don't screw this up or my honeymoon will consist of Anya sobbing that her special day was ruined," Xander said desperately.

       Spike rolled his eyes, then grumbled as he trudged up on stage, grabbing the glass of champagne the band leader offered him. He peered down at Anya's tiny, miniscule writing, squinting a bit, the flipped the cards over, looking horrified. He had to read six cards of this crap?!

       He was about to throw down the cards, grab the champagne bottle and high-tail it out of there while he still had some shreds of dignity left, but he remembered the threat Anya had directed at...um...little Spike, and he rolled his eyes, snatching the microphone off of the stand.

       He was drunk...but not drunk enough to put his most prized possession in jeopardy.

       "OW! YOU HAIR-PULLING SKANK! I'M SOOOO GOING TO STAKE YOU!"

       Spike lifted his head, watching as Buffy and Drusilla pulled at each other's hair, and Giles was trying to separate them while avoiding Drusilla's nails. Halfrek was watching on, smirking at the pair while He'ral looked incredibly embarrassed as his girlfriend fought over another man.

       Normally, the sight of Buffy and Drusilla fighting because of him would've led to many, many naughty fantasies, but under the circumstances, it was his own private hell. He actually had nightmares about having Drusilla, Buffy and Cecily all in the same room together. Leave it to Anya, torturer of numerous males over the centuries, to finally make that nightmare come to life.

       "Spike!" Xander hissed off-stage, then indicated he should start talking as Giles finally grabbed Drusilla around the middle and bodily hauled her off towards another part of the room.

       "I hate my life," He muttered, but unfortunately, he had forgotten about the microphone in his hand, and he winced as it echoed through the reception hall.

       "That's not part of the speech," Anya wailed, and Xander returned to her side to comfort her as best as he could.

       "Uh..." Spike peered down at the cards, trying to read the writing desperately, "On this happy...nay? Say? What the soddin'...oh! Day! On this happy day..."

       Anya listened in horror as Spike garbled her beautiful speech, and looked over her shoulder as Drusilla broke free of Giles and rushed Buffy and Halfrek, knocking both of them into the table, sending the beautiful flower centerpiece and plates crashing to the floor.

       The three girls started to wrestle, unable to do much damage to each other because of the spell leveled on the reception hall and everything erupted into general chaos. Many of the demons, Ta'hoffren and He'ral included, started placing bets on the three girls, Anya started to cry, the humans stared at the spectacle in horror, the Scoobies tried to separate the three girls, and Spike plodded on through his speech, head very determinedly bent, pretending he didn't notice the fight going on right in front of him.

       "They're RUINING my HAPPY DAY!" Anya wailed loudly, and Xander patted her on the shoulder reassuringly, glancing towards Spike, who had reached the tail end of his speech, still not looking up.

       "Ow! Let go of me, you freaks!" Halfrek yelped as Drusilla scratched her arm and Buffy pinched her, "OW! William! Little help?!"

       Spike ignored her, still plowing his way through the speech, mispronouncing most of the words, since he couldn't read Anya's handwriting, and the amount of booze he had consumed had made his vision bleary as well.

       "You little bitch!" Drusilla stomped on Buffy's foot, and the Slayer shoved her into Halfrek, shaking Giles off when he tried to grab her arm.

       "Buffy! Stop this childishness this instant!" The Watcher ordered but Buffy ignored him, and he received an elbow in the stomach from Halfrek for his efforts as she tried to fend of Drusilla and her nails.

       "You sissy little scratcher! WILLIAM!"

       "And...uh...I hope you two have a happy, long, prosperous life together...filled with happiness...uh...money...and...or-orgasms?"

       Buffy pinched Halfrek's arm again then kicked her in the shin, leaving her back exposed, and she yelped as Drusilla jumped her from behind and clung to her back, yanking at her shoulder-length tresses.

       Buffy stumbled forward, then tripped over a chair. She flew forward into Halfrek, and Anya stood up with a shriek as the trio slammed into the buffet table...right into her beautiful, twelve-tier wedding cake!

       The three girls stopped fighting immediately at Anya's scream, covered in white cake, and Buffy glance at Drusilla, who had the little plastic bride and groom stuck to the top of her head.

       Spike held up his champagne glass, "Here's to you," He said half-heartedly before draining the glass, and tossing it over his shoulder. "And thank God for the open bar."

       "Anya...honey..." Halfrek glanced at Xander, who was glaring at her as she knocked on the bathroom door, a sulky Buffy standing beside her. "We're really...really...really...sorry..."

       "YOU RUINED EVERYTHING!"

       Buffy winced at Anya's ear-piercing wail, then glanced at Xander, who raised an eyebrow, then rolled her eyes, "Listen, Anya...it's not a total loss...Giles found a couple of sheet cakes...you can still do the shoving it in Xander's mouth...but you have to come out for that."

       "I'm never coming out!" Anya replied mournfully, swapping at her eyes as she sat on the toilet inside the small, personal bathroom, "You ruined my beautiful reception! You ruined my cake! The best man is hiding beneath the bar with a tapped keg! You ruined EVERYTHING!"

       "Well...to be fair...Drusilla helped..." Halfrek winced when Anya started to sob again, "We're very, very, very sorry..."

       "No! You're not! You never wanted me to marry my Xander! I see it now! You're just mad 'cause Spike doesn't like you anymore! So you had to go and ruin my wedding! You're...you're EVIL! You're both evil! You're bad, evil, mean people!"

       "Hey! I am not evil!" Buffy replied, insulted, and Xander gave her a dirty look, "Fine! I'm evil! I'm bad! I'm the big, bad Slayer..."

       Anya only started to cry harder, and Xander sighed heavily when he saw neither of them were helping matters any and he shoved past Buffy and Halfrek to kneel next to the door, giving them both a look.

       "You two better go and start cleaning up the mess you made!" He ordered firmly, "And someone has to get Spike out from beneath the bar before we find out if vampires can die of alcohol poisoning! And start pumping him full of coffee! I want him sober and coherent for the dancing, all right?!"

       Halfrek and Buffy both agreed sheepishly, leaving Anya's new husband to try to coax her out of the bathroom.

       "Anya, baby..." Xander said pleadingly, "I know the first part kinda sucked...but on the bright side...most of the guests were having fun watching three hot chicks wrestle around in the wedding cake..."

       "You thought they were HOT?!"

       "Spike..." Giles bent over, staring at the vampire very firmly established beneath the bar, his suit rumbled and his hair in disarray from running his hand all through it. The vampire was currently downing a bottle of Jack Daniels, a scowl on his face, "Uh...you may have to come out of there eventually..."

       "They still out there?" Spike slurred, looking frightened, and Giles smiled at him reassuringly.

       "They're all gone, Spike." Giles assured him, then rolled his eyes when Drusilla drifted behind him and knelt down, "Bloody hell!"

       "Liar!" Spike shrank back, eyeing Drusilla warily as she smiled at him coyly, and crawled beneath the bar with him.

       "My poor little Spike," She cooed, reaching out for him, but he held up his liquor bottle in defense.

       "Stay 'way, demon woman!" He cried out, then started to giggle drunkenly, "Get it? You...demon...woman..."

       "Good Lord," Giles pinched the bridge of his nose, "Dru! Get out from beneath there! You're not helping matters any!"

       She ignored him, of course, and she snuggled up to Spike's side, and the vampire plastered himself against the side of the bar, shoving at her with a scowl, "Shoo! Go 'way! Let me drink meself to death in peace, dammit!"

       "Remember when you used to hide underneath the table with me when there was lightening?" She asked him, batting her eyes, leaning towards him even more, then whispered, "And we used to play under there together, and you'd make me forget all about the bad, loud lightening?" She reached for his crotch, and Spike grabbed her hand with an annoyed growl.

       "Drusilla. Leave. Me. Be." He bit out shortly, "We are over...get it?! I don' wan' you, will never wan' you, an' you're jus' pissin' me off!"

       "But...Spike...aren't I your princess anymore?"

       "NO! GO AWAY!" He roared, vamping out, and Drusilla smiled as she drew back a bit.

       "There's my bad little puppy..." She purred, trying to get close to him, but he lifted his leg and planted his foot against her chest, holding her at a distance from him, scowling.

       "I am not your soddin' puppy!" He growled, "I'm no one's lap dog! I'M THROUGH WITH THE LOT OF YOU!"

       Drusilla drew back, pouting, "You don't mean that..."

       "I bloody well DO! GILES!"

       Giles sighed, peeking beneath the bar, "What?"

       "I wanna go home," The vampire whined plaintively, "Can I go home yet?"

       "No, we still have the second part of the reception to attend..."

       "Please?! I can' take much more of this! No' even if I never get to see th' Slayer naked again..."

       Giles blinked in shock as Drusilla stared at Spike, looking grossed out, "You...slept with the Slayer?" She shuddered, "That...is disgusting..."

       "Yeah?! Well, at least she doesn' drip SLIME on ME!"

       "BUFFY!" Giles bellowed, straightening, his eyes wide, looking for the Slayer.

       She emerged from the back with Halfrek, both of them cleaned up after the mess with the cake, and Buffy was back in her hideous green dress, having nothing else to wear.

       "NO!" Spike looked about ready to start crying, "Don' call 'er over 'ere!"

       Buffy and Halfrek pushed and shoved to get behind the bar first, and Buffy ended up tripping Halfrek, who in turn grabbed her ankle and sent the Slayer sprawling on her face.

       Spike groaned and covered his face, "Karma, you're soddin' fuckin' bitch," He moaned out loud.

       "You stupid brat!" Halfrek glared at Buffy, then saw Spike and Drusilla, "HEY! Get your hands off my man, you slut!"

       "GILES! I WANNA GO HOME!"

       Giles glared at Buffy, Halfrek and Drusilla, "Will you three GROW UP!? This is Anya's wedding day and you're acting like children! Well, Drusilla always acts like a child...but she has an excuse! She's insane!"

       "Sorry, Giles," Buffy said sheepishly, sitting up as Halfrek did the same, giving Buffy a dirty look before glancing towards Spike, who really was starting to cry now.

       "Look what you did!" Halfrek accused Buffy, and Giles sighed heavily, looking up towards the ceiling, as if expecting help from that region.

       "That does it..." Giles reached down and bodily hauled Spike out from beneath the bar, "If either one of you gets near him for the rest of the night, I swear to GOD that there will be Hell to pay! Got me?!"

       "Yeah...but I'm supposed to dan--"

       "Forget it!" Giles snapped at Buffy, "You've done just about enough for tonight! All three of you go to separate parts of the room, face the wall and think about how you all broke Spike and ruined Anya's wedding day!" He then stalked off towards the kitchens, a highly drunk, weeping vampire in tow, leaving the three women to eye each other warily.

       "Did he just tell us to stand in the corner?" Buffy asked, and Halfrek nodded while Drusilla clapped.

       "Oh...the bad Watcher is punishing mummy..." She glanced towards Halfrek and Buffy, who were staring at her, "What?"

       "Okay..." Buffy sighed as she reached up and grabbed a bottle off the bar before leaning back against the inside of it, between Halfrek and Drusilla. "What happened here, exactly?"

       "You two made William cry."

       Both Drusilla and Buffy leaned out a bit to glare at Halfrek. "What? You did!"

       "An' they call me the crazy one," Drusilla muttered, crossing her thin arms over her chest and protruding her lip out a bit. "You were the one that first made him cry, Dearie."

       "Hey! It was a hundred and twenty two years ago! Cut me a break, will you?"

       Drusilla glanced towards Buffy, rolling her eyes, sounding more lucid then usual, "She told him he was beneath her...made the poor boy cry and he ran right into my arms," Drusilla stuck her tongue out at Halfrek, "Bitch."

       "She told him what?" Buffy looked stunned, "Like...those exact words?"

       "What was I supposed to do?!" Halfrek asked, insulted, "I was still human then, you know...I needed security...all he had was his stupid poetry. Plus, he was always...following me around like a lost puppy. It was pathetic," At Drusilla and Buffy's looks, Halfrek scowled, "Oh, please...like you two are any better?"

       Buffy slumped back against the bar, uncapping the bottle of Peach Schnapps she had taken off the top bar, "And what? Suddenly he's the pick of the litter?" She asked Halfrek snidely.

       "Well...immortal...live on another plane of existence, really don't have to worry about the money thing anymore...plus, I doubt he would left me at the altar," Halfrek made a face, "Stupid men."

       "It was that night, wasn't it?" Buffy glanced at Drusilla, "You turned him that night...when she told him to get lost."

       Drusilla nodded, grabbing the bottle from Buffy and taking a drink herself, then muttered quietly, "And now I wonder...what possible catastrophe came crashing down from heaven and brought this dashing stranger to tears..."

       "Huh?" Halfrek and Buffy glanced at Drusilla in confusion, but the vampiress seemed lost in her own thoughts.

       "Five," She finally muttered after several seconds, "Five times."

       Halfrek glanced at Buffy questioningly, and the Slayer simply twirled her finger next to her temple, snatching the bottle back from Drusilla. "Five times what?" Halfrek asked.

       "Night you broke him, night I shattered him, night in chains, night she fell, day of heaven," Drusilla answered, apparently slipping back into her private world of visions and riddles.

       Halfrek was even more confused, but Buffy quietly answered, "Which are the five catastrophes that brought him to tears."

       Drusilla clapped her hands sarcastically, turning her gaze on Buffy, saying harshly, "Three times is your score, dearie."

       "Yippee for me," Buffy took a deep swig of her bottle as Halfrek fell into silence. "But...what about the day of heaven? What the hell does that mean? When he and I...uh...you know...?"

       "Before," Drusilla answered, her gaze fixated to Buffy's face, "Before that...in the sunlight."

       Buffy frowned slightly, and then paled, "You mean...?"

       Drusilla apparently picked up on her thoughts and nodded sagely. "Brought him to his knees, it did."

       Buffy stared down at her hands as Halfrek looked bewildered once more, "What in the hell is she talking about now?!"

       "The day I told him I was in heaven," Buffy said softly, then handed the bottle to Drusilla, climbing to her feet with a determined look.

       "Where are you going?" Halfrek asked.

       "To find my boyfriend."

       "Anya...baby..." Xander sighed, still sitting outside the bathroom door, listening to her cry on the other side. "I know...everything was a big old disaster..."

       "Disaster?! Buffy fell on my WEDDING CAKE! And you thought she was hot!"

       Xander pounded his head against the door in frustration, "Baby...come on...the night's not a total loss...we still have to do the dancing...and I'm sure Spike is sober by now, and Hallie, Buffy and Dru are probably all separated...and my parents do not hate you!"

       "They do TOO!" Anya started to sob again, and Xander closed his eyes, taking a deep breath.

       He was completely and utterly lost. He had seen Giles dragging his sobbing, mussed and drunk best man into the kitchen less then ten minutes before, a testament to the mess that Drusilla, Buffy and Halfrek had all managed to create in a half-hour time span. He didn't even want to know how Halfrek had made Spike cry...but maybe it had something to do with the vengeance thing. Anya always enjoyed watching a man cry.

       "Anya...please, I'm begging you...come out...so? The reception was a balls-up...but that doesn't matter! We're married now! I'm your husband, you're my wife! We did the hard part, right? Well, actually, that was the easy part...but you can't lock yourself in the bathroom when it gets hard."

       It was quiet on Anya's end, and Xander sighed.

       "Anya, I love you more then life itself. But it's going to be hard sometimes...we're going to fight, we're going to be disappointed in each other...you're going to make a comment in front of my parents about my penis or the amount of orgasms I gave you the night before...but I don't care about that. Okay, I do care about that a little...but every time that happens, we can't lock ourselves up and not talk about it...and not deal with the problem..." Xander pleaded with the door, "So...please? Come out and tear Buffy, Hallie and Dru a new one? Just like I know you want too? You know you want to level some heavy Anya vengeance on them. Hell! I'll help out! And then you can watch Spike cry. You'd like that, right? Kinda short, evil Spike weeping like a little bitch with a skinned knee?"

       Xander waited several minutes for Anya's answer, and finally, he heard the lock being slid open, and Anya peeked out, her eyes a bit red and puffy, "Spike's crying? Promise?"

       "All I bloody well needed was my soddin' mother, critiquing me in the background, askin' me when I was goin' to get married an' give her grandbrats...and it would have been jus' bleedin' perfect," Spike grumbled as Giles fed him cup after cup of coffee, groaning when he started to sober up.

       Giles was looking sympathetic, but Spike remembered maybe mentioning something about a naked Buffy...so in all probability, the Watcher was probably just sobering him up to stake him after the stupid reception from hell.

       "Here," Giles handed Spike another mug of coffee, watching as the vampire drank it with a grimace. "Feeling better?"

       "Still wanna leave," Spike grumbled, "This whole thing has been a disaster...soddin' women..."

       "Well, Anya's still locked in the bathroom and refusing to come out, so, we may have to cancel the rest of the reception," Giles sighed heavily, "I'm going to have to have a severe talk with Buffy when this is all over."

       "I was jus' sittin' there, mindin' my own damn business," Spike grumbled, sulking as he leaned against the wall, sitting on the floor of the kitchen, his suit rumbled and hair in complete disarray. "Isn' the groom the one supposed to be havin' a nervous break down and not the best man?"

       Giles chuckled wryly, "And here I thought I was the one Buffy was going to finally drive around the bend."

       Spike snorted, saying bitterly, "Fuckin' whelp lucked out, you know. At least demon girl sez what's on her mind, whether you wanna hear it or not...not friggin' second guessin' 'bout that one. And she loves him...even if he's getting a little beer-belly an' she makes all the money...and he's a soddin' poofter. Me, fall for the women that you never know what the fuck is goin' on wit' them. Cecily...bloody bitch...deciding now she likes me and I'm not all beneath her...friggin' Dru deciding I'm the bleedin' cat's meow...and the Slayer...God only knows what her malfunction is...I can never tell what in the hell is going through her mind one minute to the next. One second, we're shaggin'...next, she's kickin' me in the head an' tellin' me how disgustin' I am too her..." Spike's eyes suddenly widened, realizing belatedly who he was talking too, and he looked up at Giles, "Huh...by shaggin'...I a'course mean...uh...politely...conversin'..."

       "Spike, you're the drunk one, not me," Giles rolled his eyes slightly, refilling Spike's coffee cup and pressing it back into his hands, "Does she...really do that?"

       Spike eyed Giles warily, expecting the stake to come flying out at any moment. When it became apparent that the Watcher wasn't going to stake him just yet, he sighed and nodded slowly.

       "Y'know...sometimes...it's nice...like...we'll talk afterwards for a bit...and it's...almost normal. All playful-like...like it's supposed to be...wit' the snugglin' and shit. Sneakin' off from her friends for a bit of a snog...nice, y' know? Most of the time though...it's the kickin' and the 'Spike! Ew! Disgustin'! Get away from me!'" Spike imitation of Buffy was eerily accurate. "Soddin' tired of it, I am," His voice lowered a bit as he looked down at his slightly scuffed dress shoes, "Bloody well tired."

       Giles sighed as he knelt down in front of the miserable vampire, shaking his head slightly, unsure exactly of how he felt about Spike and his Slayer even having a relationship. Then again, truth be told...Buffy wasn't really his Slayer anymore...and she was an adult, old enough to make her own decisions. It just pained him to see that her decisions, apparently, were causing Spike more then a little hurt, a man he had come to respect in the ensuing months after Buffy's death. All right, Spike was egotistical, cocky, arrogrant and all other synonyms of the same nature...but he had stuck around when there was supposedly nothing left for him in Sunnydale. He had stayed to fight and take care of Dawn, and did his part in research and patrol with the rest of the Scoobies.

       "Listen, Spike," Giles hesitated briefly, wondering how exactly Spike was to take his ensuing offer, then sighed a bit. "I'm returning back to London in a few days. I'm...not exactly affiliated with the Council anymore. However, I've been...patrolling and taken up Slayer-like duties there, as well as some investigation into certain...supernatural occurrences..." Giles removed his glasses to clean them as Spike stared at him with a 'yeah? so what?' look on his face.

       "I would...like for you to come home with me, Spike...and help out. It'll be change of scenery. You could come back home to England...you could even earn a bit of a living, since you would be, technically, working for the Council. I'll have to pull some strings, but I'm sure it wouldn't be too difficult..."

       Spike didn't answer him, but seemed to be seriously contemplating Giles' offer. Finally, he broke the silence between the two men, "Haven't been home in over sixty years..." He sighed deeply, "Why the bloody hell not?"

       Why the bloody hell not?

       Buffy stood stunned, watching as Giles pulled Spike to his feet, the two men quietly cementing their plans together as they went back out into the reception hall.

       Leaving...

       Buffy leaned back against the wall, near the back of the kitchen, where she had been standing, listening to Spike and Giles' conversation, undetected. A feat that she would never have accomplished if Spike had been sober.

       Just like that...Buffy almost shuddered at how easy it was. Easy for all of them. Like...ten seconds it had taken him to decide to jump ship and head for the higher ground of Merry Olde England.

       One second, we're shaggin'...next, she's kickin' me in the head an' tellin' me how disgustin' I am too her...

       Buffy ran a hand through her hair, taking a shuddering breath. "Oh...shit..." She breathed softly, "I wis--"

       "Wait! WAIT!" Buffy nearly shrieked as Halfrek shoved into the kitchen, and the vengeance demon took a deep breath, adjusting her pendant, "All right, make this quick...because I got an extremely conservative woman who just found out her daughter is gay in the other room..."

       "Uh..." Buffy frowned, "Sheila Rosenberg?"

       "Yeah! How'd you know?"

       "Oh...this night just keeps getting better and better," Buffy muttered beneath her breath, then slid down the wall to sit on the not so clean kitchen floor, undoubtedly ruining the dress that had taken her twenty hours of overtime at the Double Meat to earn.

       Halfrek stared at Buffy as she started to sob, then shifted on her feet, "Listen, unless you got some vengeance for me to wreak..."

       "He's leaving me," Buffy said softly, and Halfrek raised an eyebrow, interested now.

       "Man vengeance? Oh, I know that was Anya's whole thing...but hey! I can curse a penis just as good as she can..."

       "No! Enough with the 'of cursing!' You've cursed me and my friends enough! And you're not going to make Willow ungay!"

       "Oh, come on...it's my job! Cut me a break...who's leaving you?"

       "Spike's going home with Giles..."

       Halfrek looked surprised, "Really? That old English guy?" She asked, then shook her head, "You know...I always kind of wondered about William..." She sighed heavily, "Well, I guess it's better that I find out he's gay now..."

       "What?! Spike's not gay!"

       "Oh!" Halfrek laid her hand over her chest in relief, "Thank GOD! Hate to think we lost another one to the other side."

       "You're really not helping," Buffy groused, "Leave now."

       "Hey! Don't get all high and mighty with me! You were the one that was going to make a wish..."

       Buffy groaned, covering her face with both hands and then screaming into them in frustration.

       "Um...I'm sensing some tension here," Halfrek said unsurely, eyeing Buffy warily, then glanced up when Xander peeked his head in the kitchen.

       "Oh...great! You two again?" The boy scowled, "Where's Spike? I promised Anya she could watch him crying."

       Buffy shoved herself to her feet, stalking past Xander with a pissed-off expression, wondering why everyone suddenly decided misery needed company, and snapped at Xander unintentionally, "Why don't you ask Giles?!"

       Xander blinked in surprise, then turned to look after Buffy as the Slayer stomped back into the reception area, "Um...what was that about?"

       "Must be that time of the month..."

       Xander paled, looking towards Halfrek, "Um...little too much information...thanks."

       Halfrek shrugged uncaringly, "I got to jet...customer's waiting..."

       "What? Wait! No! There will be no vengeance!"

       "But..."

       "Hallie! The wedding cake says Happy 10th Anniversary Elliot Plumbing! The best man had a nervous breakdown and Anya locked herself in the bathroom for an hour! If you do anything else to ruin this day for Anya, so help me God, demon or not, I will go G.I. Joe kung-fu grip on your ass!"

       Halfrek smiled at Xander, and then patted his cheek indulgently, "Aren't you just the cutest?"

       Spike was sufficiently protected. With Willow, Tara, Dawn and Giles all on the look-out for crazed Slayers, ex-almost-betrothed turned vengeance demons, insane vampiress', and any stray glasses of liquor, he was sure to remain unmolested and almost-sobered for the rest of the night.

       Ta'hoffren was currently casting spells over the buffet table and bar to protect them from any other untoward attacks that might be coming, although, undaunted, Xander's Uncle Bob was still hitting the free scotch and soda pretty hard. However, the sheet cake was sufficiently protected. Nothing short of a nuclear blast could disturb the cake till its time came.

       Anya, though denied to have watched Spike crying, she had been assured by Giles that it was truly a pathetic affair, and was now seated back in her place of honor, smile on her face, pretending that the cake-wrestling match of just an hour before had never occurred. Although, to her annoyance, both Willow and Tara had both declined wiping the memories of that incident from her guests' minds.

       Drusilla was skulking the outskirts of Spike's protective circle, grumbling each time Dawn or Tara chased her off with a crucifix, while Spike resisted the urge to hide beneath the tablecloth and refuse to come out. Ever again.

       Halfrek refrained from granting Sheila Rosenberg's wish that Tara was a nice boy with an Ivy League education, after having caught her daughter and the blond witch in an impromptu tender moment. She was now currently joining Uncle Bob on his drinking spree, much to Willow's horror as she recounted, to any one that listened, her days in high school when she was normal and dating a bass player with rainbow colored hair.

       Buffy was nowhere to be found till Dawn accidentally found her sister beneath the buffet table with a tray full of cream puffs, and the girl decided to leave her there, really not needing to know what was going on there. Although, she did relate it to Giles, who simply shook his head. As long as she was in the room and not causing havoc, that was just fine with him. Just so Anya didn't ask about the mysterious disappearance of cream puffs.

       "Now I bloody well remember why I avoided these soddin' affairs," Spike grumbled, sulking in his seat, hunching his shoulders a bit. "Not even my sister's weddin' sucked this bad and I was sittin' at the kid's table..."

       "What's so bad about that?" Tara asked, taking her seat after chasing Drusilla off again.

       "I was twenty-bloody-years-old," He replied, sinking a bit more in his seat when he saw Halfrek, "How much longer does this shit last?"

       "My guess?" Dawn took a sip of her soda, gesturing at Anya, "Till she decides she can't wait for honeymoon orgasms."

       Spike choked on his coke, "BIT!"

       "What?" Dawn grimaced at him, "Oh, come on! It's not like I don't know what one is..." She saw the stricken look on Spike's face and amended her statement, "Well! Not personally, anyhow. And please, like you all weren't thinking that too?"

       No one answered to that and Dawn smirked, validated, "See?"

       "Don't bloody well do that to me," Spike told her, brandishing his chewed on straw threateningly, "Don't think I don't know the bleedin' Slayer's lettin' you see that scruffy little prat."

       "Kevin is not scruffy!"

       "Bloke has hair down to his bleedin' shoulders," Spike told Giles, "Bloody disgrace, it is...don't know if the bloke wants to date her or borrow her lipstick."

       "God, Spike...you sound...like...fifty years old when you talk like that," Dawn complained, "He complains about my music, about the shows I watch...and like he can talk, by the way...what kind of vampire watches Dawson's Creek and Felicity anyway?"

       "Boy bands, turtle dove...no talent little hacks...Britney Spears...Christina Spread-'er-thighs...all spit and polish...and what's with all the synthesized music? Musicians in my day..."

       "Blah blah blah...and you remember when blood bags only cost a nickel," Dawn stuck her tongue out at him.

       Willow giggled at Spike's expense and he pouted, "Oh, I see how it is. Team up on the poor vampire. Fine, see if I care," He sniffed, affecting an injured mien, "No one loves Spike."

       "Eww...what did I tell you about referring to yourself in the third person? It's creepy," Dawn replied, then grinned before throwing herself on his lap, nearly knocking him and his chair over in the process, and earning a surprised 'oof.' "Aww...poor Spike. I still love you. Even if you're way old and are completely uncool."

       "Uncool?" Spike glared at her, but it was only a half-hearted attempt. Her little endearment had considerably cushioned any little barb that she slung his way. "I am so cool."

       "Yeah, yeah, sure, whatever," Dawn rolled her eyes, then slid off his lap when he indicated he wanted to stand. "Where are you going?"

       "Need a smoke," The vampire replied, digging though his tux till he found his wayward pack of cigarettes, "Call me if the dancin' starts?"

       Giles looked troubled, "You are coming back, right?"

       "What? Leave and risk all my importan' parts? Yeah, I'm comin' back," Spike frowned, still searching his pockets, "Bloody hell...my lighter's gone!"

       Dawn smiled evilly, holding up the silver Zippo, and Spike shook his head as he snatched it back from her, "Watch it, Nibblet...you wouldn' be goin' back to old habits, would we?"

       "Nah...Xander just bet me ten bucks I couldn't pick-pocket you."

       Spike snorted, pocketing his lighter, "An' they bloody well blame me when you learn bad habits," He muttered, then gave Dawn a look, "Wallet."

       She held up the black leather wallet she had gotten him for Christmas, smiling at him innocently, and Spike grabbed it back, "Pidge, I catch you in my pockets again, I will take off your little fingers. Get me?"

       "Ohhh...scary," Dawn said levelly, "I'm trembling, really."

       "Smart arse," Spike grumbled, then ruffled her hair fondly as he passed her. Although he wasn't allowed to verbalize how proud of her he was, at least in that instance, he couldn't help but feel a swell of pride. The pupil had surpassed the master. Almost, at least. He wouldn't have returned stolen goods. No self respectin' thief returned the goods.

       He slipped outside without any problems in the form of Halfrek and Drusilla, and he breathed a sigh of relief as he lit a smoke, taking a deep drag. He closed his eyes as he did, leaning back against the building. He really couldn't wait for everything to be said and done, and he could go home.

       Home... he opened his eyes, chewing on his bottom lip thoughtfully, contemplating what he had pledged to himself too. Leaving Sunnydale...for good this time. No coming back to create a little havoc, no more torturing himself like he had been doing for the past five years. This time, he would stay away from the Hell Mouth, the Slayer, all of her soddin' friends, and all the bloody pain and trouble that came attached to all of the above.

       Although, truth be told, he was going to miss his Nibblet...only decent one out of the bunch o' them...well...then there was Tara, who had always been a peach to him...even if she teased him unrelentingly about Buffy...or...at least he thought she was teasing him. He could never tell if she knew more about what was going on then she let on or not. All right, and he would miss Red a bit, she had always been good for a bit of fun...and Anya. He would definitely miss watching her mortify Xander every chance she got...and even the whelp was good for a game of billiards and beer every once in a while.

       And Buffy...

       "Bloody hell," Spike muttered beneath his breath, crushing the spent cigarette beneath his shoe, scowling a bit. What was there to miss about her? The abuse? The snide remarks? The darting off after sex and treating him like nothing more then a filthy little secret she liked to keep hidden in the dark?

       Bloody...fucking...hell... Spike grimaced slightly as he headed back inside, glancing around carefully to make sure that no psycho ex-girlfriends, almost-girlfriends, or God-knows-if-she-is-or-ever was-his-girlfriend were waiting to jump out at him, and traumatize him even more. Gods, he couldn't wait till he got back to his crypt and drink himself into a mindless stupor.

       When he went back into the hall, the lights were dimmed and he leaned against the doorway, watching as Anya and Xander began the first dance, every standing in a circle around the group, and he had to smile a tiny bit when a spotlight was trained on them. It was exactly the cheesy type of romantic drivel that Anya pretended she hated, but anyone with half a mind would know that she actually thrived on.

       Strange thing, that, her marrying the Whelp, him not even having half a mind, and all. He wondered if Xander would know enough to bring flowers every once in a while, no occasion necessary, just because Anya would appreciate it and get the warm fuzzy feeling inside, or remember that her favorite perfume was White Diamonds, by Liz Taylor and not Tommy Girl, like Dawn...and GOD, how drunk was he if he was even thinking about this?

       He was so intent on watching Anya and Xander dancing that he didn't notice he was being stalked till he was grabbed by the arm and bodily hauled onto the dance floor. He yelped, startled, as Halfrek dug her claws firmly into him, preventing his escape as she smiled up at him sweetly, batting her eyelashes, "Dance with me, William?"

       "Uh...actually...I think I'm just going to---AHH!" She swung him out onto the floor, and then she jerked him against him as if this was an attempt at some sort of demented Tango, and he fell forward a bit, getting a face full of more cleavage then he was really used too. She took one of his hands and jerked his arm straight out to his side as soon as he straightened a tiny bit, and then she twirled him in a circle, offering him a nightmarish swirl of blurred faces and he felt the alcohol and coffee he had consumed rise to his throat. "Cecily...stop...please..." He pleaded, but she ignored him as she jerked him back towards her, either ignoring or not noticing the sickly look on his face.

       "We've wasted so much time, William," She sighed heavily, patting her eyes again as they swept past Anya and Xander, the ex-demon looking peeved at the interruption in her dance, and Xander's eyes widened when he saw Spike mouthing 'help' at him and noted the sizable lump growing in the vampire's throat, and glanced around, trying to find Giles.

       "We could've had such a beautiful life together, don't you agree?" Halfrek continued to gush uninterrupted as Spike fought his gag reflex tooth and nail, "I mean, besides the you being poor and completely geeky, after you got turned, you should have come back and tried proposing again...and where did you get that scar? It's completely adorable, and those abs!" She punched him lightly in the stomach and Spike gulped heavily before being spun around once more, "Rock hard! I could just LICK you to death, you're so adorable." She stopped the dance suddenly, and Spike nearly fell over at the abrupt stop, and she looked up at him earnestly, her eyes going a bit wide, "What do you think, William? Do you think it could work?"

       Spike opened his mouth to tell her to sod off and leave him the hell alone, but that was a mistake as he lost the battle with his particular gastric big bad.

       A loud, demonic shriek filled the hall, and Xander and Anya let go of each other to stare wide-eyed as the spotlight moved from them to the only other couple on the floor, revealing Spike, hand over his mouth, eyes practically bugging out of his head, and Halfrek, screaming and wailing, stomping her feet in the mother of all tantrums, covered in what could only be described as something out of a bad Sci-Fi flick. Namely, equal parts blood, alcohol, coffee and a healthy helping of a vampire's especially caustic stomach fluids.

       "YOU PUKED ON ME, YOU IDIOT!" She screamed at Spike, as if that wasn't already obvious, and proceeded to start punching and kicking at him, still wailing, unaware that the stomach acid was eating through her second dress of the evening.

       Finally, Giles came to the rescue of the beleaguered vampire, who seemed unable to defend himself, or was just felt too weird about hitting the love of his former life back. Giles grabbed Hallie's arm, and headed her off Tara and Willow's way, and the Wiccans hurriedly moved her along to the bathroom to get cleaned up. Giles herded a still horrified and dazed Spike off the dance floor, already regretting his decision to not allow the vampire to go home.

       Drusilla was watching on in delighted amusement, clapping her hands and giggling, while Dawn was practically in convulsions, she was laughing so hard, and the whole event only moved Buffy to snicker a tiny bit and grab a tray of crab puffs before disappearing beneath the buffet table again. Xander was rubbing the bridge of his nose in a very Giles-like fashion, while Anya looked caught between emotions, unable to decide if she wanted to laugh or start crying again.

       All in all, it was shaping up to be a chaotic, if not interesting, evening.

TO BE CONT

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